An affair, a baby, pregnancy, love, hate and Max coffee
by Nomad2106
Summary: Sometimes what you wish for is not what you really want.
1. Chapter 1

Pregnancy and sex.

These two things are a correlation since day one, and not only a social but also a scientific standpoint. The science behind it is simple and obvious. Sex leads to pregnancy, it is the process of creating new life and to ensure the continuation and survival of the homo-sapiens race, or humans. The social standpoint is far more interesting and in-depth, this is because since the early days of adolescence, it was a defining factor toward our place in society.

For females, the more sexual partners and experience you have, are usually negative. Granting you to be called by awful terms and prone to be bullied verbally or even physically by both sexes.

On the other hand, males with profound sexual experience and partners will be granted praise and jealousy from their peers, mostly positive evaluations too. The females will also usually not see that male in ill terms, due to the usual fact that males that are deemed 'players' have a good face, build, and generally all around please aesthetic. The only exception to this rule is if the male's sexual experience was due entirely to prostitution or was deemed ugly or creepy by the females.

However, despite their differences, there was one common point. Humans are shallow and so are the reasoning behind sex of adolescent. Lust and status. For males, I have explained above. Females are usually not related to said reasoning. However, lust is the motivation behind both sexes. The one of two things, the two sexes have in common in relation to sex. The second thing they have in common is pregnancy.

In your adolescence, you wanted the sex, but fear the strong consequences it comes with. You know that one accident is all it would take. But yet you still wanted it. You lie to yourself, thinking that "I won't be so unlucky." Or something along those lines. The average cost to raise a child in Japan from birth to the age of 18 is roughly 17 million yen; excluding housing and remittances. However, not once did this cross your mind when you did it. Human beings really are foolish, especially in those ages from 15- 19. In short, sexual intercourse during adolescence is stupid and foolish. It is what will destroy your life, not matter how good you look or how good your grades, you are screwed. Especially if you are a girl.

This was an extract from my first book. 'The fools of society.' Using my life experiences as a basis and writing it all down. Each chapter concentrated on different people, personality's and anything I knew and felt was stupid at the time. The highest acclaimed chapters by the reviewers was this chapter, The ice queen, The real nice and stupid airhead, That Sly one, The scary one and The perfect fake everyone's man. This recollection of unique characters was what I wrote down during a piece of coursework for modern Japanese in university. Getting universal acclaim from the faculty, it was posted into the university's annual yearbooks, gathering interest from a publisher and catapulting me into becoming a writer. Once my first book was complete it gained universal acclaim from all ages 14 and up, creating my first pot of money. I am by no means super wealthy. But I was able to buy a house in Tokyo right out of university, get married and have a very comfortable and stable life. All because of one book. I didn't need to write my second book 'The world as we see' as books have incredible shelf life. An author could write one book and live off it forever. But my wife didn't allow me to be lazy.

Why am I talking about this? Well it all leads back to pregnancy. You see once you become somewhat mature and have a family, you would want to have a child, as a successor of your name and a proof of your existence. That fear you had during your adolescence is no more. Instead of fearing it, you desire it to happen whilst enjoying the sexual process. This was what I thought at first. My wife and I…for a while. Enjoyed making love and trying to have a child, after all we are humans. I thought this would last forever, but as expected, I was wrong. As failure to procreate occurs. You obviously get disappointment. This is stage one. Then comes fear of disappointment, stage two and in the end you become the opposite of what you are during your adolescence. You feared the sex due to not wanting to be disappointed again and you desire for pregnancy.

Unfortunately, I am on this boat as of now. My wife and I wanted to have three years of 'just as.' After that we began to try and try harder as time went by to get a child. But one year in, nothing. My wife initially blamed me for having rotten sperm. I agreed and did not retort her for once. We both went to check with doctors and found out that both our bodies were perfectly fine. The prognosis by the doctor was that we were "Simply unlucky" or if we believed in a faith "That god meant it to be this way."

A year and a half in, we were still trying. Tonight was no exception. We did it for the sake of doing it. It became a bi-nightly ritual. Like the Mayans sacrificing people for their gods and hoping for peace and getting nothing in return which stopped their destruction. We simply did it because we believed we had to. My wife and I love each other very deeply, since high school have our relationship sprouted into a flower that it is today. But every flower, no matter how beautiful and strong will someday die away. And our relationship is slowly withering away. We would be fine everywhere else, except for our bedroom, except our own bed.

Hugging her tightly from behind with my arms around her I pulled myself closer to her, resting on her long and soft hair as we laid underneath and warmed by the duvet. We tried tonight. But after a year and a half, we expected failure yet again. The feeling was very bitter. The most relatable feeling to explain it would be to imagine a piece of work you tried your very best to do and hand it in knowing it would be a F- and no matter how you repeat or improve it will always be an F-. It feels like that, only a million times worse. Every method we have tried and failed, we tried the normal way, it didn't work. In vitro fertilisation, it didn't work too. Simply put, either my sperm hated her eggs or it was the other way around. The option we never considered was a surrogate, because as selfish and horrid it may sound. It was simple not fully our child.

Digging my head closer toward her and invading her pillow my forehead was not planting on the back of her nape. She was warm and I enjoyed our close proximity. We laid in silence, even though we knew that each other was awake.

"I'm sorry." We broke the silence. We said the exact same thing in the exact same time. What are the odds. I sigh and loosen my grip allowing her to turn around and face me. She gently crept her long and thin arm around my shoulder and pressing down the back of my head gently with what felt like her palm. Gently connecting our foreheads together, she then released a sigh of her own.

"Do you think we should just give up?" She speaks uncharacteristically. She was always a woman that would head directly to a fight straight on and was extremely competitive. To hear her admit defeat with such a soft tone was almost embarrassing to bear witness to.

"Yuki. We are only 26. The day will come." I somehow managed to speak positively. Even she was evidently caught off guard and she looked at me surprised and somewhat gasped silently. Her opened mouth and moist then transformed into a chuckle with a hint of mischief.

"Being so positive. How unlike of you. I guess I really did fix you. Somewhat, even though my repairs are equivalent to replacing a tire of a car without an engine."

Her response was as sharp and mean as usual, and I liked it, I was fond of it. Maybe I am a masochist now or I was simply used to her acting this way. Smiling presumably creepily as that was the only way I knew. I pulled her closer and kissed her on her lips, she accepted and skilfully tilted her head and adjusted her hug and leg to hook and slide onto mine making the experience even more passionate and erotic than she ever would outside of this household. However even only that could last so long. We eventually have to ask and answer the difficult questions.

"Yukino…I don't think we should give up. But I don't think we should try so hard either…"

Seemingly confused and slightly shocked she gazes her eyes at me. But it was not to be blamed. Essentially my words were of conflict, a paradox.

"How can we not give up, but also not try? Babies don't magically come out of thin air or explode from inside a stone. Hachiman." She replied somewhat rhetorically.

"I mean that we shouldn't only have sex for the sake of trying to make a baby. I want to enjoy it and lately, it's becoming something I fret over and even becoming somewhat or a chore."

"Right."

"And this has nothing to do with you physically or mentally." I add. Just in case she worries over something like this, although the likelihood of it is close to impossible.

"I know that." She replied without hesitation, showing her confidence.

"So? What do you think?" I ask again.

"I think it is a fine idea considering it came from you. I don't want you to detest the physical side of our relationship either. However, there is still one thing which concerns me."

"Yes?"

"What if I am unable to get pregnant when I arrive at an age that is deemed safe or possible for pregnancy?" It never even crossed my mind.

"I don't know." I answer honestly. After spending a brief moment of thinking of a solution and failing to.

"Unfortunately. Neither do I. In this case we can do nothing but hope for the best." All I could do was nod and smile. However, an unexpected sound alerted me. It was the ringing of the doorbell. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It was 2am. A concerning time. What is the guard doing? I thought. Is he asleep and let some random person into the flats? This is quite an expensive high-rise apartment tower. I could blame myself to be overly cautious and cynical but all I could think about was that nothing good will come out of this. I quickly sit up. The doorbell rang again.

"Yukino, put some clothes on and lock yourself inside the toilet. Don't come out until I personally say so." She nods and gets out of the bed, finding and placing on her previously stripped off clothes. I too do the same and run toward the door. By now the stranger outside had stopped ringing the bell and began hitting the door. I carefully look though the peeping hole. However, I didn't see the delinquent I was expecting. But a petite girl with the similar features as me. I release a sigh of hot breath, exerting my concern and opened the door.

"What are you doing here so late Komachi?" I speak to her. However, she did not reply and kept her gaze low onto the ground as she walked past me and into my apartment and sitting herself down on the living room sofa. Closing the door I ran off to the master bedroom and spoke loudly, trying to convey my voice through the door.

"Yukino its just Komachi."

The door quickly opened and Yukino walked out, adjusting the straps on her modest and elegant nightgown which was presentable. Walking out together to the living room. Komachi folded herself into a ball while sitting down on the sofa. Yukino went to prepare some tea and I sat next to Komachi.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" I ask my sister. Silence. Which was quite rare. My sister and I was always close. My wife returned with brewed tea and sat everything down on the coffee table.

"Komachi san. Are you alright?" Yukino placed a palm on her shoulder. Komachi immediately latched onto Yukino and hugged her tightly, crying into her shoulders, loudly. Ragingly. Like she was hit by some form of despair that even I couldn't have faced or imagined despite my own horrid past. Yukino stroked Komachi's back trying to calm her down. Slowly but after several minutes, my sister's loud cries became sobs.

"Komachi san. If you can't tell your brother what is wrong. I can get him to go away. I am here for you, but I can't help you unless tell me."

Upon hearing Yukino's words. I slowly pick myself up. I understand that there are things which only girls could speak to each other comfortably about. The same goes for males anyways. I am aware there are something I would be more comfortable to share with males than my wife for example. Komachi however, immediately turned her head around to look at me. Shaking her head indicating me to stop. So I sit back down.

"You see…Taishi cheated on me…I saw…" Before Komachi continued. I slammed the armrest of my sofa with my fist clenched tightly. It was a subconscious act and I had no control over my actions prior. It simply happened. I gritted my teeth and wanted to hit him. The two woman close by looked at me in shock. Even Yukino who would usually make a jab at me became silent and somewhat startled by my irrational action while Komachi looked downright terrified. Taking note of how I probably looked I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Trying to calm myself as I know in this state I cannot do anything well and reasonably for Komachi. So after recomposing myself. I simply took a sip of tea.

"Continue." I speak, ready for whatever Komachi would say next.

"And…I'm pregnant." Shit. The worse thing I could have imagined. This made me realise my book was wrong. Pregnancy isn't something you embraced once you become older and wiser. It is only something beautiful and desirable if you meet and is with someone you would deem as a life partner. Otherwise, it could still be something as fearful as to a teenager. In the depths of my mind all I wanted to do was find that bastard and tear him limb from limb, making him look at me helplessly as I slowly took away his life. But that wasn't going to help Komachi. What I need to do now is remain as calm and collected as I could to solve the situation the best I can. Then I will kill him. Taking a deep breath, I turn my attention to my sister. Yukino nodded knowing that she is aware that I am capable of speaking and acting logically. But I know if I acted any other way, my wife would be there to stop and help me. I can rely on her, if it does come to that.

"So. How many months?"

"Just a few weeks."

"I see." Now the question at hand is did he cheat because she got pregnant or did he cheat long before that. On the one hand I understand that the first one is slightly more reasonable despite still being a horrid act of disloyalty. However, lust could be another matter and somewhat more understandable. But this isn't something I should ask Komachi now.

"You two aren't married. Now I want you to only think for yourself Komachi. Disregard anything else. Speak out the first thing your mind tells you. Okay?"

My sister nods.

"Do you want to keep it? As long as it is during the first 24 weeks you can do it. I think your situation would allow for it."

Komachi bit her teeth and gripped her jeans. Seemingly looking extremely guilty she shakes her head. I nod in affirming.

"Okay. I understand. But don't make any rash decisions. You have 24 weeks. I don't want you to regret it. Okay?"

"May I interject?" Yukino speaks out. Komachi turned her head toward Yukino and as do I. She looked like she was slightly concerned and worried about what she was about to say. But she would have to for her own morals sake.

"Whilst I understand that Komachi san you are currently doing veterinary school and have no ability or income to take care of a child alone. You have to make the decision as soon as possible."

"Why?" I question. Komachi although silent was also confused with Yukino's statement.

"It is true that the legal timeframe for an abortion is 24 weeks. But it is a life and it could not be judged logically. Right now it may be the size of a grain of rice and look nothing like a baby, but as each day passes, it is going to become more and more…human. And I don't think that leaving it to the last minute is a good idea."

"So you think she should keep it?"

"That is not what I said Hachiman. The decision lies entirely with you, Komachi san. I just think that it is easier and better to have an abortion while it is still technically not a foetus or a life yet. As the act is technically still a killing. It is easier on the soul." Yukino spoke painfully. I know if this was with her case she would never allow an abortion because she would consider it murder. But this was not for herself and for the benefit of Komachi. Therefore, she is speaking what she feels would be good for her.

"How can I keep it though? Yukino san. I'm a student. My life is over. And there is no way I will ever forgive Taichi."

"Even though we are not the wealthiest family in the world I am sure Hachiman and I could take care of you and the baby. Hachiman is a writer and works from home almost exclusively and I work part time for my family's company and is also usually home. Your studies however, you may need to stop and or defer a year."

"Right." Komachi nodded solemnly.

"But there is one more dilemma you need to understand Komachi san. No matter how much you reject it, that child is going to be Kawasaki kun's as much as yours. There is no way and be fair for you to cut him out of the child's life. Also the child will for sure somehow remind you of him. Can you live with that?"

Yukino. While I am only worried and somewhat helpless in this situation. She is already making plan A, B, C and D and thinking about everything before reaching a decision with Komachi to ensure the best outcome not only in terms of efficiency but also emotionally. I didn't even think about anything she just said and I am thankful that she was here. I used to need to save her from everything. Now she is as strong and independent as those words definition.

"I need some time Yukino san. I can't give an answer now. Sorry."

Yukino shook her head and smiled warmly.

"I don't expect you to have an answer now. And If you did I will tell you to reconsider and think again. It is late. You should take a rest and we will be here to help you reach a decision tomorrow. But for now clear your mind and sleep."

Yukino would make a great mother. Just this alone proves it. After enduring the harshness of her own she knows what decisions and actions to make that she deems would be right and beneficial not only to her own mind but also to the child's. It's a shame that I couldn't give that to her.

Komachi nods from Yukino's worlds and she hugs her yet again. The two then stands up and walks away as Yukino takes her to the second bedroom which was vacated and emptied as our plans to have a child was a failure so far. Picking up the teacups I poured the remainders in the sink and rinsed it. Before too returning to my bedroom. Laying down with a million things across my mind I too probably will be unable to sleep as probably the case of Yukino and Komachi. Soon enough my wife returned to me and laid down. I covered her with the duvet as she articulated herself to a somewhat comfortable position. Placing my arm around her waist I look at her.

"What should I do? I don't know what I could do for her?"

"As a woman. I think I would be more fit to take care of Komachi san, perhaps I fear you may lose control like you did prior. But Taichi kun. You would need to have some strong words with him." She glared to the air. Clearly she was also suppressing her anger just now to try and calm the situation down first.

"I will." I answer.

"But for now. Sleep. We need our full energy and attention to help your sister."

"Our sister. You are an Hikigaya too now."

* * *

 **Hi this is my first Oregairu Fic! It may have some problems here and there with spelling and stuff so please forgive me :P Also I am unsure if i should make this fic M because there are some quite adult themes to it. Although I doubt there will be actually any lemon scenes. Feel free to review!**


	2. Chapter 2

Decisions. Decision-making is regarded as the cognitive process resulting in the selection of a belief or a course of action among several alternative possibilities. Every decision-making process produces a final choice that may or may not prompt action. Decision-making is the process of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values and preferences of the decision-maker. However, it is never stated what is a good or a right decision. What is the boundaries of right or correct? Is it right if it benefits oneself or benefits others? What if it benefits oneself and not anyone else? What if it benefits everyone else but not yourself? If a compromise to satisfy everyone is created, is it still technically your own decision? Or were you forced into one? What is the difference between a decision and a choice? Choices are opportunities and we make choices based on our beliefs, and our estimation of where the choice will lead is not always possible to conduct a proper analysis of the available options, and some choices may be instinctive. A decision, on the other hand, is an analytic method to eliminate options. It is a thoughtful, thorough process. It is a direction you choose after beginning with choices and opportunities, and considering past experiences. But all of this is just scholars mumbo jumble. In the end, they are the same thing. What really is important is if the right one was made.

Did Komachi make a decision or a choice? Was it right or wrong? I had no answer for I could see rights and wrongs on the two choices she had at hand. But I cannot fault her decision to follow which one. After a long discussion with me and Yukino the following day. Abortion was what she chose to carry through. I know I have no right to persuade her otherwise. Because in the end, it was hers to make and I don't have any say in it. I could comment. But I could not force her one way or to make the choice I wanted, otherwise it wouldn't be her choice. I knew what Yukino felt too, I knew she would want Komachi to take another path. But she too knew that in the end it was her life and her own choice. She had no place to comment.

Komachi was a student with no income. On those grounds, abortion was legally permitted. It was scheduled to happen in a few weeks. Right now she is back home with my parents. I had no intent to visit. After all I knew she would be taken care of. And I don't want to see him. My father. After all, going there would just make everything more bitter. Perhaps, I am not needed in my family. All they care about is the monthly cheque that I send them. I have fulfilled their purpose of creating me, to ensure their survival after they grew old.

After a long day of writing, I finally pressed the save button and concluded a day's hard work. Even though people think that being a writer is easy, I can ensure that it is not. Working from home is hard. You have to have immense mental and physical discipline. To wake up and do actually work and not just lay in bed all day or play a game. After all you have no boss to stop you. Even the Editor or the publisher is merely in your play. There is no when a book must be done by after all. Although I am in a better place than many, as my books don't require imagination, just experiences. As I closed the laptop and wanted to head into my bedroom for a short nap, my phone rung. It was my sister. Pressing the green button and answering the call. I bring the phone up to my face, trying maintain logical and not exert any of my feelings toward Komachi.

"Yo."

"Onii chan. How are you."

"Fine, how are you?"

"I'm fine. The hospital date is confirmed."

"I see."

"Are you going to come home? I kinda want you there. Sorry for being needy, I know you are busy and so is Yukino chan."

"I'll visit the hospital. But I have no place in that house anymore. It is not my home."

"Onii chan, are you still angry at papa? I am sure he had his reasons for doing what he did."

At this point memories were surging through my brain and anger was all I felt, however I somehow managed to conceal it within after a deep breath.

"I doubt any father had right reasons for denying his son from coming home after he left for university. I remember what he said to me that day. That I have no place in that house since I am in university and that I am on my own. If I fail, then sleep on the streets." I recalled what my father said to me.

That was the last time I talked to him or seen him. He didn't even go to my graduation. Even my mother who was the top of the power hierarchy of our household could not disagree. Everything that I left in that house was thrown out. It was like I was never welcomed in the Hikigaya household. The only things my father would ever do is email when my cheques were late. To be honest, I don't know why I didn't just take the name of Yukinoshita after our marriage. Maybe its pride.

"Onii chan. I don't know why papa acted that way too. But I am sure it's okay now. I mean he let me stay during university and I don't even have to get a job!"

"You were always the favourite. I was the unwanted one after all." Maybe it was also my fault too. I was rotten, unsocial and many things. Maybe I deserved to be despised by my own father.

By now I could feel my eyes growing slightly tired and moist. I don't want to carry on this conversation anymore.

"Onii chan…"

"Anyways. You should rest Komachi. I'll visit you in the hospital."

"Right. See you onii chan."

As the conversation died and ended as did my mood to go to take a nap. Setting my phone back down on the table. I opened my laptop again and began writing again. Not because I have to. I have done more than enough and is way ahead of schedule. I am writing because I won't be a failure and be looked down by my father. I won't lose to the one person I truly hate to my gut. As the clock hit 6, the main door opened. Yukino walked in with bags of take away. After all, today she was fairly busy, having to help organise a charity event for her family's company and actually being there to see it through. Judging by her dry lips and compressed hair on one side, I could tell she had not had a single bite or drink today. Not to mentioning the residual marks of the headphone she was probably wearing all day. Really concluding a day's work for good. I set my laptop away from the dining table and walk toward her, helping her close the door as she removed her shoes and placed it neatly on the shoe rack and helped her with the bags. Setting the food in the dining table and removing the boxes and setting them down. Yukino walked toward me.

"I am going to take a shower first. You could eat first if you are hungry."

I shake my head and shrug.

"Nah. I'll wait for you. In case you were trying to poison me with the take away. That way I could ensure you didn't poison the food."

She slightly chuckled and proceeded closer to me, getting my true intentions. Pecking my gently on the cheek with her dry lips she whispered.

"Oh if I was trying to kill you. I could do it in your sleep. Food poisoning is too traceable. Death by suffocation in bed is way more believable to be an 'accident'." She chuckled slightly teasingly and walked toward the shower box in the bathroom. Smiling slightly due to having company again back in this home after a whole day of being alone I walked toward the kitchen and poured two glasses of wine. We weren't alcoholics. But a small sip during dinner is nice and could ease both our tired souls. After doing that and returning to the dining table I sat down on my usual seat and waited. It didn't take her long to finish her shower. Although her long hair was not dried and wrapped by the towel like some African woman. Sitting down, we began to open the boxes one by one and used the provided disposable chopsticks and began to eat.

"So how was today?" She began a conversation.

"Same old. I sat, I ate, I wrote. You?"

"Same. Except the eating and the writing part. The event went as planned. I didn't even need to be there." All of that was just to praise yourself huh?

"Well, then don't go next time. The house isn't going to clean itself you know?" I shrugged.

"Excuse me?" She spoke up seemingly surprised.

"You heard me."

"You're not in a good mood are you? You usually never dare speak to me that way."

I sigh and set my utensils down, nodding down as a form of apology.

"Yeah. Sorry for taking it out on you. Forgive me."

"Alright, you are forgiven. But I want you to tell me why. Having all those sorrows cooked up inside is no good for our relationship. Be honoured to have such an understanding spouse."

Yeah she is right. She is really quite understanding nowadays. If I acted this way toward any other woman, they surely would have screamed in rage and left me. Not that I always act this way to her. Just some rare times.

"I got a call from Komachi. She told me to go home. So you know."

"Your father again? Did he message you about sending him money again?"

"No. It's just that it was brought up during my conversation with her. Anyhow. She is going through with the abortion. Even though I know how you feel about it, we can't and shouldn't change her mind."

Yukino too stops eating and sets her chopsticks down. With a slightly solemn smile she sighs.

"I don't know what I am feeling toward this situation. It's a mixture of anger, jealousy and envy. We tried so hard yet we couldn't have a baby. Yet Komachi san was able to be pregnant and is giving up on it so easily. I'm horrible aren't I?"

"No. It's what makes you human. We have no right to change Komachi's mind."

"But the father does. Have you had any luck locating Taichi kun?"

"No. Zaimokuza couldn't get anything. Useless."

By the third year Zaimokuza realised that his chunnibyou wasn't going to get him anywhere. That he was not some protagonist in some LN or anime. Thus he picked the route closest to an anime. A policeman. According to him at least. His enthusiasm also helped him and he is a superintendent now…somehow. I fear for Japan's safety to be honest.

"I see. It's not easy for him to be found if he doesn't want to be." Yukino pondered, setting a free hand on to her chin.

"It's not all bad news. I got a hold of Kawasaki Saki. Maybe she can help."

"Indeed. She seems like a honourable person."

People change over time though. Maybe she is different. I don't know. Using alternative pretences I managed to secure a meeting with her tomorrow. Although I am quite sure she knows my real intentions.

"I'm seeing her tomorrow? Wanna come?"

"I don't think that's the best idea, considering I did steal you away from her." She chuckled. To be honest I never even knew she had feelings for me. Only did I know when she broke down and cried uncontrollably when she found out Yukino and I were dating during the beginning of the third year. It was not a very happy first day for her.

Although I am more surprised on how Yuigahama took it. It was like she expected it to happen and she didn't cry, get angry or anything. She simply wished for the best for us. Even now, although she married Hayama. She retained quite good friend with Yukino. Although Miura never forgave her.

"Right."

That night, despite the warmth of my wife's body I was not able to sleep. I really do hate my dad.

* * *

The following day I set off to meet Kawasaki. I more or less knew what I was going to say. Unlike usual where I winged everything point blank, this time I need to be sure no to screw up or piss her off. After all a small mistake could screw everything up. As I entered the café she was already sitting there by a window. Not looking a day older although her features have definitely got more womanly. I walk toward her and greeted.

"Yo."

"Yo." She returned the exchange. Sitting down I took a deep breath.

"So, how's things. Heard you became a children doctor. Fits you really." I try to loosen the tension somehow. Although it could be one sided.

"Ah good. Thanks. What about you and Yukinoshita san…or Hikigaya san now…" She spoke softly.

"Uh, okay? I guess." This is where I didn't want things to go.

"Look…What I am really trying…" before I could continue. Kawasaki dropped her head on the table. With tears streaming down her face, wetting the table cloth. Gathering the looks of everyone around.

"I know why you are here… And I'm sorry. So sorry. I can't tell you where Taishi is. I know this is very unethical and downright evil. But when it happens to your own family I have to be selfish. He's just a kid and going to university. He can't be a father; he has a future to build! I am so sorry! If there is anything. Anything else I can do please tell me."

I sigh. Although it really cannot be blamed. As a fellow older brother I do understand where she is coming from. I sigh in frustration again.

"Komachi decided to get an abortion. I just want to let you or him know…he deserves to. At least relay this message for me."

"I will." She responded quietly. It seems Kawasaki Saki is on the same boat as I am. There are things we obviously desire to be the choice or decision our sibling made. But in the end we couldn't force our way on them. It was unfortunate that this time none of our desires crossed paths.

"Goodbye Kawasaki." Setting down a note large enough to cover for her drink. I pulled myself up and walked away. In the end I couldn't do anything. I was yet again powerless.

And just like that. My niece or nephew was put on a death sentence. I could say all day that it was not my fault and it was also Komachi's choice and decision. While that is true, somehow, I couldn't help but feel that my hands had been tainted crimson by blood. Yukino and Komachi's relationship was clearly strained by this. Although she puts on a strong and normalised façade. I could tell that in her heart she was saddened and disappointed in Komachi's decision.

This event led me to wonder. We say that everyone has free will and is allowed to make their own decisions and choices once they are deemed legally an adult. But would it be wrong for me to force someone to make another choice? If I forced Komachi to change her choice. Would I be equally as wrong as her for making that choice? And what I felt was wrong, is it really wrong? If so then why did Komachi would feel that the choice was right? Is there another way of seeing her decision? And if that applies to everything, then is there really a true right and a true wrong when all that matters is perspective?

I don't know. Hell I thought of this and even I am so confused.

As weeks past, the event blew away like a storm. Eventually dying out and things somewhat returned to normal. Here I sat in my living room typing along another day for my next book as my wife sat opposite me with her laptop, doing shopping, bills and anything else I couldn't be bothered to handle. We don't talk much. But we enjoy each other's company more so than anything.

"Hachiman, there is this strange letter from a legal firm. Do you have any idea what it is?" Yukino passed me the letter. I skimmed through it quickly.

"No idea. It's not asking me to go there or anything. Just ignore it. Might be wrong. We don't use this firm."

Yukino nods in acknowledgment and shreds the letter in the paper shredder. While I clicked save on the document finishing off the chapter. Stretching and cracking my neck. I stand up and walked toward the kitchen.

"Yukino, you hungry?"

"Sure. I could eat." She replied. Opening the bridge and pulling out the leftovers from last night and reheating it. As I waited for the microwave to finish the reheating process, I pulled out a can of Max and opened it, taking a quick sip to ease my thirst as I didn't drink at all this morning after breakfast.

"I just received a message from Yui. Inviting us over for dinner. Would you like to accept?"

"If its casual. Sure. Formal. Nah." Most people don't even know my profession since I use an alias for my books. It's sickening and annoying when people think that I am just a gold digger by marrying the second daughter of the Yukinoshita family when I have never received a cent from them.

"I understand." Yukino replies. As the reheating completes I carefully pulled out the two plates and set them down on the table. Grabbing the needed utensils and placing them on each plate. We could eat and dress more glamorously, we can afford to. But somehow it didn't really fit our style. Even though Yukino was raised as some rich princess she was strangely domesticated and not posh. Although she does buy the odd expensive bag in rare occasions. It even surprised me when we shared an apartment together during our university. As we both quietly ate lunch my phone rang. Seeing that it was my father. I instantly declined to answer and ignored it. I've sent this month's money and fulfilled my duty as a son. I didn't not need to entertain him. My phone then rang again and vibrated skidding on the table. Annoyed I just turned the whole thing off.

"Who is it?" Yukino asked confused.

"It's no one and I am not letting anyone irrelevant disturb our meal."

With a smile she beamed upon hearing my words. Everything I endured was worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

As I finished writing my new book and sent it off to the publisher for edits and title creation. I finally have two to three months where I am entirely free to do anything I please. After all this is how long it usually takes for a book to get produced and eventually sold to the general public. Not to mention that with my pseudonym and low profile stance on writing, I don't have to go to any parties by the publisher nor do any book signings.

Doing something fun is as easy as an adult then when you are a child. However, the only changing parameter of it is cost. As a child, finding a twig on the floor and playing with it is fun. As an adult, it is completely different. We become materialistic and lustful. As we grow we lose our innocence more and more until we are tainted by experience. Although the same thing could not be said about my wife. Despite her grace, elegant and mature look, inside she is just a child that likes a certain panda character a bit too much. In fact, creepily so. If Pan san was real she would undoubtedly divorce me and marry him and make weird hybrid panda human babies with him. Maybe this could be my new book idea to launch myself into the LN world. But I might get sued by Destinyland…

Enjoying the view of my wife changing into casual attire from her night gown for a brief moment since it's the probably most fun I will have today. I looked at my phone to double check the time. Even though today was technically a free day for me to have fun, I had to compromise. Because I am married and men don't get to make any decisions. She pretends by asking you where you would want to go. Then disagree and name 9999 reasons why and add on her own idea instead. And if said man disagrees…well then sofa for a week it is. I've become smart and vigilant over the years. To just go with it. Otherwise we wouldn't be going to destiny land today but instead be staying at home while I laid on my sofa or bed and played video games. Woman are liars. All of them, including ice queens that claim they never do.

Oh where do you want to have dinner tonight. She asks. Oh Saize. I naturally answer. Then she glares and or pouts. Making me change my choice or allow her to make the decision instead. While technically she didn't make a lie. Her scheme basically is one massive deception, I never had a choice to begin with. So lie? Kinda. But love is all a big compromise. It was something I never expected when I was young. What I thought to be able to endlessly exert emotions toward each other was impossible. Genuine is real, we share that. But the idea of being able to force upon our ideas on each other wasn't viable. But the way we compromise isn't one sided either. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's her and it works.

"I'm ready. Let's go." She announced.

Yay….Destinyland…

"Right…Lets go…" pulling myself up and cracking my tight neck we quickly exited our building and toward the carpark. The drive wasn't particularly long or difficult although finding a parking spot was tedious to say the least. You either find an empty spot too far from the entrance or within a cluster of other cars, making yours impossible to locate when you are in a hurry to leave once the fireworks have ended to avoid the hordes of people charging by to their vehicles. There are no good spots in any theme park, ever. After spending 10 minutes to find a decent spot we finally parked. By then I couldn't finally hold in the question which I kept inside for the day so far.

"So why Destinyland?"

"It's fun is it not? People, couples go there to enjoy themselves during their free time. Perhaps it's close to Halloween meaning I could purchase memorabilia that I desire. So it's a win win situation is it not? You get to enjoy a day with a gorgeous woman like me and I get to buy my Pan san plush."

Right….

Exiting our car, we made way to purchase the tickets and enter. Despite it being a Saturday there wasn't much of a crowd which I did not expect. But it was a positive surprise none the less. Before we entered the short queue. My phone began to vibrate. Picking it up it as it was my mother. Which was quite a surprise as due to her work she would usually sleep in late.

"Yo."

"Hachiman. Come home immediately." She uttered softly.

"Why? You know I …"

Before I could continue my mom began sounding like she was crying.

"Hachiman. Your father. He's dead."

"Huh." Why does it hit me so hard? Why? Unable to respond I simple nodded in shock.

"Okay." Unknown what else to say 'okay' was all I knew what to say. As the conversation ended I was quite in shock. Yukino noticed this and patted my shoulder gently.

"Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"My dad just died."

Without a reply. My wife nodded and clenched my hand tightly. Holding my hand to reassure me we walked back to the car. With her on the wheel in case I was not okay. For the first time since university I was heading back to Chiba. I guess we don't get to go to destiny land after all. Komachi sent me the hospital name and number and Yukino quickly got us there. I didn't expect the feelings I was feeling. He treated me like crap for no reason why day and constantly harangued me for money like I owed it to him. But somehow I was feeling pain. I haven't seen his corpse yet. I just heard the news. But somehow there was this emptiness. This void that cannot be explained. Like something was wrong and missing. And worse of all, I hated myself for not being able to cry and feel actual sadness. I felt like I wasn't a real human being. As we arrived into the hospital I could see the two recognisable figures outside the morgue. My mother and sister. Upon seeing me my sister still crying rushes toward me and hugs me tightly, crying into my chest. But in this moment I knew I need to be strong.

"What happened? How?" I speak to my mother. Still barely able to compose herself.

"He…He got into a traffic accident. A drunk driver." My mom answered. Wiping tears from the edge of her eyes. Before we could get a better grip into the situation. A man in a suit walked toward us.

"I am so sorry for your loss. My name is Takumi Fujita. I work for Atsumi & Sakai. I'm here to read out Hikigaya san's will and disperse his assets." That firm…The name was from that weird letter I got a few weeks ago. Why was I involved? There is no way my dad would leave me anything.

"My husband wrote a will?"

"Indeed. Although I am sure this would seem like an insensitive time to read out his will. It was what he requested."

"Hachiman. Should I go? I am sure I have no place in something like this." Yukino pulled my shirt gently.

"Probably neither do I. Let's just wait outside until they are done." I replied to my wife.

"Actually, Hikigaya san, your father has left considerable assets for you and your wife." The lawyer answered. Surprised Yukino and I turned to face the man. After all Yukino was there by my side and witness everything that happened since university and a woman like her with family issues too understood me and was equally shocked. Our whole family entered a meeting room the hospital had free and we all sat down. Opening his briefcase, he brings out a document.

"I will now read execute his will's request. The house and accounts will be given to his wife. Also his youngest daughter Hikigaya Komachi will also have her name added into the house and accounts. Control however, remains with his spouse. Finally. He has a letter he would like to give his son and daughter in law. Before I read out the final contents of his will." The lawyer hands me an envelope after taking a deep breath I opened it. Assuming it to be something bad. Debts. Something. I began looking at the first line as Yukino looked curiously over my shoulder.

 _Dear son._

 _I don't know where to begin so I just guess I will spit out what comes to mind. To be honest I nevr would want you to read this letter. I wished I could have told you everything man to man. I'm proud of you. But I never could show it due to that ego of mine. I know you hate me after what I did to you in university. I thought about explaining to you the truth but I just never had the balls to. I was really happy for you when you started dating Yukino san._

 _For the first time in your life you were actually happy and not brooding. I didn't let you come back home because of two reasons. I wanted you and her to have a life together. I know you love Chiba and our home very much. So much so you would leave your girlfriend alone in Tokyo just to be back here. So I made the choice to do what I did so you wouldn't make an enormous mistake. The second reason was because of who you were with. Yukino san is from a high class society and family. I don't want people seeing you as some sort of money digging leecher and by forcing you away and in Tokyo could you avoid the horrible things they were saying about you. I knew you wouldn't care. But I didn't want you to endure it and affect your relationship either. From the first time seeing her, I knew she was the one for you._

 _The second thing I want to tell you about is the money. You may think I am greedy and trying to juice money from you every month. But it was not my intention. Every yen you gave to me now sits in an account which my lawyer will give access to you and your wife upon you finishing this letter. I know you work very hard and I'm very proud at the writer you became. But I also knew that this line of jobs would be risky. One day you will run out of ideas. Though I hope that day never comes. I hope that the money here I saved for you would be able to save you someday. I don't want you to rely on the Yukinoshita's and become what the people are saying about you. I asked money from you every month because it was the only way I could know that you were financially stable. If you weren't able to give it, it would mean that you were in trouble and I could help you._

 _Lastly before I end this embarrassing letter. There are two requests I would want to make. First. Please take care of Komachi, your mother and my parents in my absence. I know this is a huge ask for you. But you are the man on the family now. Secondly I would like you to fulfil a dream I was never able to accomplish due to my incompetence. But I have faith you could do it for me. I always wished I would be competent enough for my wife to not have to work and all the burden would be on me alone. I failed at that. I wish you could do it for yours._

 _Lastly. Again I am so sorry for what I did. But stupid old pops couldn't think of any other way except this one. And if I could do it again. I will try to be better. I didn't mean to push you away and make you hate me. And I am pathetic to be unable to face you and tell you everything face to face. Don't be like me. Again. I'm very proud of you and I love you._

 _Pops._

By the end of reading the letter tears were streaming down my face. I didn't know when I started crying but I did. Fading the ink of the letter my father left for me and my hate for him also faded away. In turn was guilt. Guilt that I never understood what he was truly doing and guilt for hating him when everything he did was to care for me even behind the shadows. I wish I could turn back time and answer the call he gave me several weeks ago. I felt sick and I wanted to vomit. I didn't know what to do. As Yukino read the contents of the letter with me. She looked at me shocked and embraced me silently rubbing her head against mine with a pained expression trying to console me. I cried and cried but eventually I was able to regain some form of composure.

"Here are the details of the accounts. Here concludes the reading of HIkigaya san's will." She hands me another set of papers and a card. Before bowing and leaving the room. We all remained silent for a moment. Unknowing what to do next. As my wife was technically the least close to my father. She was able to somewhat come up with a plan and I am so thankful that I could rely on her when I am broken.

"I think what we must prioritise is the funeral and burial arrangements. Hachiman and I will stay in Chiba for the time being until everything is sorted. Next we would need to follow up with the insurance company. Is that alright?" Yukino asked my mom. My mom still quite shocked simply nodded.

"Where would we be staying?" I asked Yukino.

"I guess we could find a hotel? We need to go home and pack first. Actually I will. You need to take care of your father's death certificates and be with your family."

"That won't be necessary Yukino san. You two could stay home."

"Home? I thought my room, everything was thrown out by dad." I questioned my mom.

"He did. So he could refurnish it so it was suitable for you two to live there. He didn't expect you to be able to buy a house right after university and getting married. He told me that he had to trash or your light novels and porn mags so it would be okay for another woman to be there." My mom solemnly chuckled recalling a memory that I never had any idea about.

"I'm so sorry mom. I never…"

"Its fine. He knew what he was doing would make you hate him. But he did it anyway because he felt it was the most effective way to protect you." My mother cuts me off with a soft smile and a pat on my shoulder.

Like father like son huh. He was just like me back then when I didn't care about myself…

"I'm sorry we aren't better parents. Hachiman."

"No. I'm sorry that I was a terrible son."

After that Yukino drove home to Tokyo to pack some clothes and other things for us. Whilst me and mom carried out the required process after a human passes. As neither of us has ever faced a scenario like this. Komachi was silent. She didn't know how to process this at all. After all was done and settled somewhat. I for the first time in years, went home. On face value nothing has changed and it looked the same as the day I left. Except my bedroom. Fully furnished and looking mature. Almost looking like a double bed hotel room. I never knew this was left for me. If I had gone home once and saw this. Then pops could have told me everything and he wouldn't have to die knowing that I hated him. While mom and Komachi stayed in their respected rooms to somewhat intake and accept the situation. I laid down and did the same. I still didn't know what to think. Sometime later. My door was opened and in came my wife with a large luggage. I immediately go to assist her.

"Hey. Sorry for making you do all this menial labour." I speak to her. I didn't know why but I had to urge to pat and stroke her head and I did which slightly shocked her and caused her to blush.

"It's nothing. Is everything on your end alright?"

"Yeah." I took a deep breath.

"I meant you. Are you alright?" She looked quite concerned. I didn't want to make her worry about me. But I guess I am not hiding my emotions very well in this time.

"No. I'm not okay. Not at all." I walked away from her plopped myself back into the bed. Looking at me with a pained face. She closes the door and sets the luggage down by the corner and too dropped onto the bed.

"I cannot imagine how you feel and I won't dare try to. But is there anything I can do for you to make me feel better?"

"No you can't."

"I know. But it was worth asking. Just in case." She smiles and gently stroked my hair.

"Thank you."

She chuckles upon hearing my words of gratitude which slightly confused me.

"I'm your wife idiot. You can rely on me ask I can on you."

I'm so glad I chose you. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to say something like that to her face. Maybe another day. But. I lost my father in an instant, without anticipation or any preparation. Could I lose Yukino the same way one day? Would she just suddenly seize to exist? Be gone? For the first time in my life I became scared of something which I cannot see or touch. I think I'm afraid of death.

* * *

So this chapter ended up worse than I imagined. Oh well. Hope you enjoy it anyway.


	4. Chapter 4

Death was something that…how should I put it…Strange. You don't feel pained or anything physically, but you feel as if something important was missing. Like part of my soul or being was torn out of me. However, as time goes on this kinda fades and it just feels like something is not there, lost, misplaced. Imagine having your house painted white for as long as you remember, then one day, its grey. Its noticeable, but not so much so that it drives you insane. It has been 4 months since he passed. Everything went by like a flash, the funeral, everything. This is one of the few times in my life that I felt having money was a damn blessing as it literally solves everything and makes everything efficient and easy. However, there are even more downsides to the last few months. I needed to take care of my mom and Komachi whilst keeping up with work, in turn I felt like I believed to slightly negate Yukino. We haven't been having sex nor enjoyed any type of private time together. I would work until around 4 each day, then drive to Chiba to make take care of my family. By the time I returned home, Yukino would already be asleep either in bed or whilst waiting for me on the sofa. I know I need to make it up to her somehow, have a talk or something. Which is something I hate. I never was someone that likes to talk heart to heart at all. Hell, the best part of our relationship is enjoying each other's company in utter silence. But even someone as emotional dense as me knows this isn't working. But I have to deal with this later. Today I have a promise with Yuigahama.

Hayama was busy with a case. However, their son has a mandatory family activities day and parents evening. Meaning for tonight. I had to pretend to be Hayama. After picking up Mrs Hayama aka ex-Yuigahama. Yukino and I drove toward the school. How those two got together was unexpected but logical. I rejected Yuigahama in the very end of the second year. Somehow the failures of Hayama toward Yukino during his young days drew those two together. They were in the same clique and spent the majority of a days' time together. It was bound to happen eventually. Although that put a strain between Yuigahama and Miura's friendship that never restored. In comparison Yukino and I's relationship was nothing romantic in comparison. We never confessed to each other or had anything dramatic. We got together after noticing that the way we treated and felt toward each other was more than an acquaintance or even a friend. I mean, no random acquaintance hangs out daily nor does the girl usually grip the shirt or sleeve of said guy. We decided to be together was after a 10-minute discussion. As I was thinking and driving I noticed a pat on my shoulder.

"Hikki, thank you for doing this! I know this must be awkward for you and Yukinon!"

No shit. But you are my friend and my wife's best friend, so what other choice did I really have realistically.

"It's not really a problem. How hard can it be to pretend to be Hayama. Act fake and smile at everything." I shrug. Actually that seems very hard to act now that I seriously think about it.

"Are you really okay though Hikki? I know after your dad…never mind."

"It's been 4 months. Everything is fine now."

Yuigahama seemed unconvinced. I can see her from the rear view mirror. I peek at Yukino beside me, I bet she told something Yuigahama to vent herself. In return she merely looks outside the window at the scenery while Yuigahama just laughed awkwardly. Why am I still thinking her as Yuigahama? She is Hayama now. Hayama Yui. What a crappy name. As we located and parked outside the school. We walked inside toward the main hall. Hayma's kid located us and quickly walked toward us, probably due to the fact that we were kinda late.

"Mom, Uncle 8, Auntie Yukinon why are you two here?" Uncle 8…this kid definitely came out of Yuigahama Yui. Perhaps this kinda makes his mom look bad does it not? Like she married and divorced 7 times and now he is up to his 8th uncle.

"Ah…You see your dad couldn't come here today and both parent's attendance is needed…So I got Hikki to pretend to be your dad today! Isn't that fun!?" She explained to her son.

"Eh?" The kid looked seemingly confused.

"Wont they like notice that I don't look like Hayama though?"

"Don't worry about that uncle 8. Dad's never been to a parents evening before. So much so they insist both my parents to be here today." The kid slightly smiled as he looked down toward his feet.

Some father. I guess Mr. perfect isn't that perfect once he goes over the age of 20 or once he gets laid.

"Well. For the next 2 hours I guess you have to call me dad."

"Well then what are you gonna call mom?"

Uh….I peeked at Yuigahama which blinked several times with a faint blush while my actual wife was peeking away at the distance on something that gathered her attention.

"I guess I'll call her Yui or dear depending on the situation. What am I even supposed to do. I'm not exactly an experienced father."

"Ah Hikki, I think there's some family building activities like building a rocket or something. And then its parents evening." I turn back to the kid.

"Are you failing school?"

"Nope. Top of the year."

"Then why the hell do your parents need to go to a parents evening. Sure as hell didn't when I was your age. That's dumb." I complained.

"Hikki. You are being too loud. People are looking at us…" Yuigahama spoke errily as she gently pulled my shirt in embarrassment.

"Yukino what are you going to do then? Say that their auntie wanted to come or something?"

"I will just sit by and watch if I am permitted. If not, I will return to the car." She answered me with a small subtly smile. Somehow I could feel that her smile wasn't genuine and there was hint of sorrow behind it.

Proceeding toward the register, Yuigahama and I registered in. I shook the sensei's hand and pretended to be Hayama Hayato. I cannot imagine high school me doing this at all. But Hayama deals with all the intellectual property and legal stuff with my books, and to be honest the reason why he cannot be here today is because he is talking on my behalf for to a studio that would like me to co-write a new Gundam series. Why they chose me? No idea. But as a proud Japanese citizen it was not a job I could say no to.

The task at hand for the primary school kids was the typical build a bottle rocket thing. All the parents started helping their kids while Yuigahama and I just looked at each other puzzled. Yukino just sat in the chairs provided and watched us among the caretakers and others.

"Uh….so… Hikki…what do we do?"

"How the hell should I know? I failed physics."

"You scored the 3rd highest in our year!"

"Yeah but that was then. I returned all my knowledge to the sensei already."

"Eh! Then what should we do?!" Yuigahama exclaimed in worry. Meanwhile her son was working on it without our assistance at all.

"How the hell did you produce a son that smart with that brain of yours? You probably diluted his genius by half with your genes though."

"That's so mean!" She pouted and hit me in the shoulder.

"Let's hope he doesn't inherit your boobs. Otherwise that would be troublesome for him."

"Sh..Shut up!"

I'm enjoying this. I can say all this crap and not get punished at all because I am not talking to my wife. Hayama's gonna have a tough time though when he gets home.

"I'm done. And stop flirting. Even though you two may be acting or whatever the other families and sensei's are looking at us." The kid speaks out to us. Wait. What's his name again? I know its Haya…something. Oh well I'll find out and be reminded later.

"Don't say that about your mom kid." I nudge him gently.

"You know uncle…'dad' you should stay in the background like you usally do. If you stand out too much you might have to come every time from now on. Since if my parent suddenly looked different people will be confused and suspicious."

Good point. Fade into the background I will. Stealth Hikki is one of my best skills after all.

"Okay. You got this right? If not, I could google the instructions for that. Perhaps this is some dumb task anyway and not influential to your grade. So it's okay even if you fail it."

"It's that mindset that will make you a failure." The kid retorted me.

"Haruto! Don't you dare speak to Hikki that way." Yuiaghama scolded. Gathering more attention and even shocking her own kid slightly. Although I am more intrigued in actually being reminded of the kid's name.

"Failing happily is better than being burdened by being perfect for your whole life. Perfectionists can't handle inevitable failure while failures live through it." I replied to the boy.

"Then I just won't fail."

"You already did. Didn't you? Everyone has failed in some point which renders your entire argument mute. "

"Tst." The kid silently returned to building the rocket while I rested my head on the nearby table provide.

"I'm sorry he spoke to you that way Hikki." She approached me and spoke up.

"Don't care. It's not like he's mine."

"Must be tough being his mom. When his dad is never around."

"It is a bit. But you were like that too and you didn't act that way!"

"You're right. I was just a lot worse."

I hope when Yukino does get pregnant my kid won't feel the obligation to be perfect. I highly doubt he or she will though. When they would grow up looking at me as a role model. To be fair. Them being happy is good enough. As the stupid family competition concluded with the testing of the water bottle rockets half my task was complete. Even though Hayama and Yuiaghama's kids rocket went the furthest it didn't matter. No one was keeping score or competing at all. Except for that kid competing against everyone else in some one-sided match. His going the furthest naturally garnering the attention of his classmates. I shake my head in slight disappointment because Hayama Hayato somehow despite hating what he is before, spawned a clone of his distant past. Yuigahama noticed my disappointed look and patted my shoulder.

"I'll try to change him. I'll try my very best." She speaks up in determination.

However, what she says doesn't matter because in the end...

"He's not mine."

Afterward was parents evening. While I pretended to care and listened to the sensei ramble about how good in school my 'son' was in terms of grades and social. But even though this was just an act to get Yuigahama out of trouble. I knew this kid was while not a faker like his father, is living under enormous stress to be perfect. I don't know why. As Yuigahama as his mom he should be the happiest free of stress kid I would know. But that's their family and I have no right to comment about it. Sometimes seeing this makes me glad that Yukino and I was unlucky so far becuase I had no confidence that we...I..would be good parents.

After our ordeal was done we proceeded out toward the school exit. Yukino disappeared during the transition to the parent's interview part. She probably went back to the car. As Yuigahama wanted to go walk around with her son and go home themselves. I proceeded back to the car. My wife sat inside the front seat tapping away on her phone and smiling. Probably watching a pan san or cat video based on the phones orientation. Upon seeing me in proximity, she quickly sets her phone back into her handbag. I open the door and get into the driver's seat and hit the ignition button.

"All done?" She asks me as I do up my seatbelt.

"Yeah. Shes off the hook now. I lied saying I'm very busy so I can't go to parents evening or something and I gave them Hayama's cell. So they can call 'me' next time."

"I see."

"So what now? Go out for dinner or go home?"

"I'm sorry to suddenly ask you this. But…do you still love me?" She speaks out of the blue. Catching me entirely off guard.

"What the hell? Why you suddenly asking something like this. It's so unlike you…."

"Just answer the damn question." She glared at me. She said 'damn'…Which basically means she's seriously pissed or concerned.

"You know I don't like to talk about touchy feelings and stuff like that…"

"You know you have never told me you loved me. Ever? I know I may sound petty and bratty. Whilst I know your feelings toward me are there. You have never actually said that word to me. Ever. Why?"

Like a bottle getting being filled more and more into every day. The lid finally popped.

"If I said it. Would it really make you feel better?"

"I…" She shook. Her blue eyes trembling.

"I love you." I cut her off. It was true. This was the first time I ever said those words. Hard to believe especially you dated and eventually married that person. I said many things to her. Good and bad but I have never told her to her face that I loved her. An after losing my father I don't want to lose my wife too. After all, there is no way we could understand each other if we don't say anything right? Compared to the pain of loss, I rather man up and just speak up. No matter how embarrassing it is.

After hearing it for the first time. Yukino trembled. She placed her hand in front of her mouth and broke her frown into a smile. Even though tears were running down her face and she covered her mouth I could tell she was smiling. Then without any hesitation at all, she flew herself over the control panel and hugged me tightly.

"You don't have to say it ever again if you don't want to. That once was enough. Now I know." She muttered as her mouth was now squished onto my shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm not that romantic man that every woman wants. I mean I never properly confessed to you. Never properly asked you out. I didn't even propose properly to you."

Yeah…Thinking back I really didn't do anything. We dated after a discussion and noticing our feelings and behaviour weren't friends like. We got married because we've been dating for a long enough period of time and it was the logical thing to do. I never had to get on my knees or anything for her. The way we got married was when her parents asked if we were going to not and I just sorta said oh okay. I distinctively remember how I 'proposed' to Yukino. I said. "Yo, you know how your mom pestered about us getting married? I think we should so they won't bother us again. I mean we've been dating for long enough, so if it's cool for you I guess I don't mind." Those were my exact words. Her response was "Sure. I guess it makes logical sense." Why did she even say yes? I was the worst.

"You have until your demise to make it up to me."

She loves me and has been bottling up all the lack of affection I had toward her. In my mind I always say this and that about her and how much I think she's beautiful and how much I love her. But my mouth just never seemed to dare say anything.

"Roger that."

"And whilst we are on the topic of being touchy feely. I might as well add that I think you are the most beautiful thing ever and I treasure you."

"Even if I couldn't grant you a child?" She mumbled.

"You let me have sex with you. That alone already makes up for literally everything." I joked, earning an audibly chuckle from her.

"Pervert…you know. I'm sorry for acting this way. But seeing you with Yui and her son. You looked like a family and I just couldn't help but…"

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything more."

"Speaking of which. I know you were mourning but…. umm…we haven't done it in months…"

I lowered my hand from her waist and grabbed her bottom then slid down to her thighs. Making her moan slightly.

"We could now if you want…right here in the car." I teased.

"No…lets go home first…"

* * *

That night was the first time in almost 2 years that Yukino and I became intimate for the sake of affection and not for the attempt of getting pregnant. It was unlike the old boring ritual but something that was intense, sweaty, loud and downright amazing and somehow I have forgotten how this felt, we were numbed by our desperation to accomplish something. I lost count midway through how many times we climaxed tonight. Thank god I was still young.

"I guess we completely forgot dinner." Now I notice. It was 11. Sheez we were doing this for 5 hours straight? Now nothing delivers at this time of night. Yukino's response was different she rolled onto her side to face me and placed her palm onto her stomach.

"Well…I am quite full of all your…"

"Woah, woah, woah. What have you done to my wife. She does not talk this way…" I cut her off and I regretted it almost immediately. She glared at me in response.

"Oh forgive me for at least trying to be more…you know…" She pouted.

"Do we have anything in the fridge I'm starving." I shifted the topic to more important matters.

"I can check. But I doubt there's anything special. I could probably make you pasta though."

"That be great. Thanks honey." My words were met by a huge blush on her face and I could feel mine heating up too. Give me a break. I'm trying this be verbal crap. Maybe I tried enough today…Yukino placed on a loose shirt and placed on her underwear. I could see a stain growing that was due to our act from minutes' prior. She then proceeded out and toward the kitchen. I locate my boxers and placed it on along with a random t shirt.

"Can you get my phone for me Hachiman?" I hear her calling out.

"Sure." I picked up her phone and walked out. Noticing the led blinking I turned it on to check it. Seems like she received she received a text from some guy. Ignoring it since it's her privacy I walked toward her and set her phone down on the kitchen counter.

"Some dude text you."

"Right. Thank you."

"Kay." I responded and sat down on a chair in the kitchen.

"Kay? Aren't you worried I may be having an affair or anything?"

"Not really." I replied nonchalantly.

"You are too trusting and naïve..." You're complaining… What the hell…

"You work from home along with me and you only go out to family functions in which Haruno and your parents are always there. So I honestly doubt you actually have time to cheat on me."

"Hmmm. I take an hour or so to go to the market. So you never know." She winked at me as she continued to cook.

"Okay fine. Are you cheating one me then? I mean there was some time where you weren't around while we stayed in Chiba after dad's funeral."

"That's for you to find out." Another cheeky wink. Trying to mess with my head Hikigaya san? It's not really that funny you know.

"For the record. If you do have an affair. I'm going to divorce you." I added.

"What a nice way to end a night after we have sex." She spoke with a mischievous chuckle and walked toward me with two plates of pasta and utensils. I quickly began to eat while Yukino picked up her phone and seemingly replied to the message she got prior.

"Replying your secret boyfriend?"

"What else is there to do? After all I got what I wanted from you tonight." She finished with her text and set her phone back down. After being screwed around by her psychologically I have an urge to grab her phone and find out but I stopped myself. She noticed that I peeked at her phone and she shook her head and chuckled before beginning to eat too. Sometimes I hate this woman. Although I do have a way to screw with her too.

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?" She answers me without a hint of defence.

"I slept with Yui once before."

"I know." She responded. Much to my surprise. She didn't even look affected at all.

"What?" I stuttered.

"I knew. During our graduation trip right?" What the hell…

"I literally just made that up to mess with you." I set my utensils down in shock. Is this what my wife really thought. Was this misunderstanding something that always tainted and pained her?

"What?" She seemingly looked as stunned as I am.

"That was a joke. I thought of getting you back. Have you actually had an affair? Now I'm worried."

"No…I've always been loyal to you. I knew about you and Yui though. But as it was a onetime thing I thought of it as a mistake and looked past it." She shrugged.

"Yukino I…I never…wait…is this seriously what thought?! I never slept with Yuigahama. Ever. And I know we were in the same hotel as her and Hayama. But I never did anything to her to dishonour you. We can call Yui right now to clear this up. Was this really whats been cooked up in your head for all these years?" I spatted frantically and reached for Yukino's idle hand on the table. In response she simply smiled brightly.

"Gotcha."

God dammit.


	5. Chapter 5

I was in quite a good mood when I wrote this chapter today so it may be a bit more M and fluffy than usual, please forgive me for that. I want a breather as the series was quite dark in the start. But don't worry I'll make sure shit goes down later on.

* * *

Good days and bad days.

Why is she doing this? Why is she bent down, on her knees and using her mouth and hands on me like that? Stroking, sucking. Not that I am complaining but why is she doing this again? Today was a terrible day. I kept my bottom on my chair as she continued and I gently stroked her head affectionately. We continued until I feel myself tense up and then released. Making me grunt and her release a small squeak. A few seconds later she released her lips and gasped for air. I redo my zipper in the meantime and then she sits down onto my lap.

"Did you like that?"

"Yeah…" I reply blank minded. Still feeling hot and slightly dizzy.

"How was my first attempt?"

"I'm just gonna fail you for the sake of knowing that you would do it again and get better. Even though I don't know how you can do any better." Since she is competitive…It's something that I have learned to take advantage of.

"Well…" She then pulled in and tried to request for a kiss by closing her eyes. I skilfully move my neck and face and retreated. Since I just unloaded in her mouth I am kinda grossed out by it. She noticed my intentions and reasoning and glared at me.

"You're a despicable man." She growled.

"I know…"

I'll kiss you later tonight after you brush your teeth I promise!

"Well. I'm not going to grill you just because you had a horrible day."

"Yeah…." I sigh.

Today was crap. It's one of those days…First went to meet with Hayama this morning. Got punched in the face by Hayama…even though it was an accident as we were in the gym…. Then mid-way home the car broke down. Needed to call tow truck and waited for two hours. By the time I got home noticed I forgot to buy the groceries I promised for Yukino. Got home and got scolded by her. Then got a call saying that my car's engine and entire drive system was dead and I should buy new one because I left the handbrake on and drove, frying it. The have an epic writers block and have no idea what I am going to for the main skeleton for the Gundam anime I signed onto. Oh and that skeleton frame thing is due tomorrow. Then after dinner when took a shower we ran out of soup because I forgot to do the groceries this morning. So I had to go out and walk to the nearest convenient store to do the groceries and then it turns out I forgot my wallet. So I had to walk home, get my wallet and then go back to buy it. Only to be greeted by Yukino laughing to death once I returned home because we had a spare bottle of soup in the drawer underneath the sink. So far the best part of today was getting my wife to finally cave after many years and give me a blowee.

"Are you still stuck on the plotline?"

"Yeah…" I'm screwed. I write nonfiction. Should have never signed onto this dumb job. Yukino articulated herself while being situated on my lap. From sitting sideways with both legs on one side as if I was a chair to riding my lap more so in a bicycle fashion while balancing herself by draping her arms around my shoulders. We couldn't be doing this if we had a kid…so ty for that assist gods of romance.

"Could I be of any assistance?"

"You plan business events. Not books."

"But I have an inert knowledge in politics and world events that may be of use."

"Thrill me. Think of something that could start a war in the next 30 years."

Yukino looked up for a brief moment and pondered. Then with a confident smirk she began doing my job for me.

"As we know the world wants to focus on solar power and renewable energy. It was stated in the world energy summit not too long ago as they want to save the environment by the next 20 years and punish the use of fossil fuels. This will plunge the middle east countries that relies on selling fossil fuels to bankruptcy and increasing and escalating terrorism levels. The EU forming a super state disrupts the balance of power in the world and there…. third world war. Easy."

You make this sound so seriously scary considering all of this is relatable and actual current world events. Is Yukino psychic or something? Although back to the plot there is one important thing missing.

"Where does the robots fit in?" I ask.

"No idea. That's up to you. That disgusting otaku culture is your speciality."

Ouch. When we were in high school she never knew about my cosplaying and otaku middle school years. Well. Not to a detailed extend maybe. But as we started dating. Let's just say the secret got out.

"Screw it. Let's just go into our room and have sex. I'll just wing it tomorrow."

My wife chuckles.

"How about…You get this done and I'll be waiting for you in the bedroom. So you better think fast or else I would fall asleep and you won't get any." She whispers seductively into my ear before lifting herself off my lap and walked toward our bedroom. Since when the hell did she learn to act this seductive. Did she ask Haruno on tips or something? Somehow it worked. And like a plumber was hired my block was completely gone. All I can say was today at least ended well and the next day began greatly as well.

I woke up the next day tired as all hell from the rigours exercise we executed and watched as my Yukino slept soundly on top of me. I could feel the warmth of her bare skin and flesh against mine like I was under a kotatsu. On further thinking I was wrong. I don't have any bad days anymore. Not since I get to wake up next to her every morning. Gently dotting her face. She moans squirms cutely before waking up at me and looking at me with a smile. She looked very human whilst compared to normal when she was a transient being. Her hair was messy and she didn't look grand and composed as she laid nude on top of me. To be honest I quite like to see this side of her as it makes me feel less distant and inferior to her.

"Morning."

"Morning." She replied with a small smile.

"Good luck today. I know I may have said some mean things but I am proud of you to be selected to be the writer of one of Japan's biggest most iconic and famous series."

"Thanks." Pulled myself and pecked her gently on the top of her head, which smelled like a mix of sweat and shampoo, but not an ill odour none the less.

"What time is the meeting again?"

"It's like the initial planning of the series so like 9am to 7pm latest. Don't wait for me. Eat dinner yourself if I don't call you or anything."

"Hmm." She nods and lays her head down back onto my chest. It was 7am when the alarm rang and the meeting was just 10 minutes away by taxi, since my car decided to die.

"I'm still quite exhausted. Mind if I rest for 15 minutes before I go and make you breakfast?"

"Of course not. Why would you even ask?"

"It wasn't a request. More so a direct statement." She retorted and closed her eyes.

"I see." Still the same old you. Even though you do act differently sometimes. To be fair you are now more dere dere than the kuu that you were before. Not that I am complaining. And all of this began after I first said I love you. If those words would have life that much easier, I would have said them long ago. It wasn't even that hard to say to be honest. Maybe it's because we are married and not dating or something.

After 15 minutes right on the dot. Yukino pulled herself out of bed. It was evident that last night affected her as she was walking kinda funny, which made me as a man filled with testosterones take it that I did a good job in satisfying her. I quickly took a quick shower and then placed on a suit. After all I don't know the dress code for anime planning meetings yet so suit is the best bet. As we sat down for breakfast she suddenly said something that worried me.

"I'm not feeling that well. I may go to the hospital to see a doctor."

"You're sick? I can go see the doctor with you if you want. I can drop out the meeting after telling them my main plans."

"It's nothing. I feel slightly nauseous that's all and my body has slight muscle pain. It's probably just due to last night. We didn't get much sleep after all."

"Right…sorry." I looked at her like a guilty child.

"Don't be. I enjoyed it." She smiled. And she didn't blame me for everything for once which is good.

"Look. If you want to see the doctor with me. Just text me okay? Otherwise take care."

She nods. I finished off my breakfast and walked over to her, as I had an urge to kiss her goodbye. As I am a writer I work at home and this is the first time I felt like I was going off to work. But as I looked at her mouth I was reminded at the chemicals from me that went in it again making me lag.

"Yes?" she smiles; it was clear that she knew what I wanted to do as she lifted her mouth up.

"Did you brush your teeth yet?"

"Just go." She glares at me. With that, I take it as a queue to leave. The day went on as expected. Imagine talking to a whole table full of Zaimokuza's but instead of being obsessed with old Japanese generals they all like robots instead. Not complaining though, I haven't had such an otaku like day since high school. Even though the day ended at 5 officially we may have chatted until 8 and I may have even had dinner with them. Checking my phone, Yukino didn't leave me any messages taking that as a sign she was okay I proceeded home slightly tipsy after a few beers with the guys. When I got home and my wife opening the door revealed something was wrong. Her idle face was not semi cold like normal, but she was unable to hide a smile like a bumbling idiot. As if Yuigahama has infected her with her positivity.

"You seem happy." I dumbly pointed out the obvious. Then instantly regret because I just opened infinite possibilities for her to retort me.

"Just sit down." She held my hand pulled me into the house and sat me down. She sat down next to me and giggled.

"So I went to see the doctor today."

Oh please…don't have cancer…don't be sick...don't have an STD…we just had sex last night…

"Are you sick?"

"I guess you can say that. I have a parasite."

"Oh…" I take a deep breath in worry.

"So what is it. Can you do something about it?" I continue.

"Only if I have valid legal reasoning."

"Oh…well it is okay. I'll take care of you no matter what." I tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny cute clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites."

"Huh?"

She face palmed then rubbed her temples and sighed in frustration. She grabbed my hand she placed it onto her stomach.

"I'm pregnant you idiot." She speaks with the brightest smile she could pull.

"What really?!" Finally, after 2 years! How you screw with me god! We try and get nothing but once we decide to not anymore and just enjoy doing it for the sake of intimacy you now grant us with a baby?! Nice play…

"Hmm!" She nods happily. But then her face grows a little solemn.

"Although. I won't be able to be intimate with you after a month or so. I know I can physically but as this is our first and it was so difficult, I don't want to risk anything and I'm scared that it may deter you to find someone else to satisfy your needs."

I scoot closer to her in the sofa and placed my arms around her shoulders.

"Don't worry I was in love with you long before we started having sex."

Perhaps cheating on you would result in two or three very scary woman hunting and destroying me…

"Thank you."

"You still have your hands, mouth and chest though so it should be fine." I knew I screwed up immediately. She lifted her head from my shoulder and glared at me and then flicked my nose with saying pervert under her breath.

"We'll see…but if you'd like we can tonight. After all, after this month you would be getting nothing for 10 or more depending on the method I give birth, so it's only fair that I satisfy your every demand while I still can." She spoke quickly and cleared her throat with a few fake coughs. It's hard to believe that even Yukino has a perverted side, but she wouldn't be a human being if she didn't.

"Maybe not tonight. I'm kinda tipsy after a few drinks. Maybe we could just chat and cuddle in bed or something." Did I really just say that out loud?

"Well anything you like. You have 30 days left."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I walked to take a hot shower and clear my head as Yukino got ready for bed. Finishing and drying my hair I get into bed and covered both of us with the duvet. The air-conditioner was set to a good temperature and then Yukino reached to turn the lasts of the lights off. Embracing me underneath the weight of the duvet she rested close to me, connecting both our pillow to form one longer one so she could comfortably rest.

"Hey…would you prefer a boy or a girl?"

You know the answer to that. Of course I want a little angel like Komachi instead of a demon hell spawn like Yuigahama's son.

"Girl. Seems easier."

"I see…would you want another after this one?"

"And try again for 2 more years making me scared and tired of having sex with you?" I retort with a chuckle.

"No. Just be natural about it. If it happens then it happens. Like I won't be taking contraceptives as if we were still in university or during our first two honeymoon years."

Oh yeah. Birth control was always her department because when we first wanted to try and do it, I bought condoms and I got a massive infection and allergy from the plastic, making us delay the act for like 3 months. From then since it was her responsibility.

"To be fair. Now I kinda wished that my dad would still be around to see our kid. He's spoil him or her, if only we settled our…"

Yukino silenced me from brooding with a gentle tap of a finger over my lips. She cuddled me tighter and closer knowing that I was slightly depressed after being reminded about it.

"No sad thoughts today. Let this day be a happy day okay?" She then pecked me gently as she was in a great mood.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"You have any preferable names?"

"Going too fast don't you think? What are you? 2 or 3 weeks?"

"I guess I'm just excited to finally have a full family with you."

"I'm also excited to spend tens of millions of yen on it."

"Stop being so cheap."

"Sorry."

"Stop saying sorry."

"Sor..My bad."

She chuckles and leans herself closer toward me, snuggling close. Not that I am complaining. It's just funny how she acts this way when we are alone and acts all cool and distant whenever there is anybody else around.

"I'm really happy." She speaks out.

"I can tell; you aren't even acting like your normal self."

"Let me be…" She muttered, slightly embarrassed.

"You know. I'm really thankful." I admit with a deep breath. Like I said before touchy feely is not my forte.

"About what?"

"About choosing you." I could see her smirk despite the darkness and the dim lights from the small gaps in the curtains.

"I never asked you this but…Hachiman. Why did you choose me?"

I thought for a minute. Recollected all my feelings before giving a honet answer.

"Sure when Yuigahama confessed I wasn't that surprised at all, but still kinda shocked none this least. I had a moment of just thinking about saying yes and let it all just tumble. But somehow I couldn't do it. I wanted something genuine and I thought what Yuigahama and I had could someday overlap but in that moment I just couldn't accept her feelings."

"And Isshiki san?"

"She was just like a projection of Komachi to me. Sure knowing she's not my blood related sister made her semi attractive but still. No."

"But instead of finding a romantic path you ended up with me. Our beginnings were more so just acceptance more than anything else. We both knew we shared something that was beyond friendship and just embraced it. There was no confession."

"Yeah, but…I kinda always knew you liked me, it's just that my dense head couldn't acknowledge it as the real or the truth or you must be misguided or something."

"I knew you were looking at me though. With those dead fishy eyes. Looking at my legs and thighs whenever I turned around to make the tea."

I also checked out Yuiaghama with have flappy skirt and bouncing airbags. Best to not mention that now though. Perhaps, she was turned around from facing me so how did she know I was looking at her.

"Okay I admit I check you out. How did you know though? You have eyes behind your head or did Yuigahama or something rat me out." By something I mean Isshiki. She does seem like someone that would play games like those. Thinking of which I should call her, haven't seen or talked to her in a while.

"The table brewing area was next to the windows. I could see your reflection and follow where your eyes were going."

"Ah…I see. Perhaps after seeing all of you, your legs aren't my favourite part now anyways."

"My breasts?" She asked seemingly confused, probably because despite their perfect shape and firmness, they are small in comparison to say anyone in our year.

"Nope."

"Where then?"

"It's the place where I gain access to your interior." I try to make my sound less perverse than I already am. Although it didn't work as Yukino simply shook her head. She then lightly yawned and close her eyes, indicating that she was tired despite it only being around 10pm.

"If you're tired you should sleep. Don't force yourself up just to entertain me."

"I'll keep my eyes closed. I could still chat with you, but if I stop answering it means I fell asleep and I apologise beforehand."

"Its fine."

"This weekend, if you aren't too busy, there's somewhere I'd like to go."

"Uh, sure. Where?"

"You may think I'm being superstitious but I would like to go to a shrine to get an omamori."

"Yukino…I'm not going to cheat on you because we can't have sex for a few months…you don't needa get a lucky charm amulet thing to keep yourself secure."

"It's not just that! It's for blessing the baby a healthy pregnancy. I know you can't cheat on me."

"Can't? Don't you mean wont?"

"I mean you can't. You work under a pseudonym, so no one knows you are a successful author and even if you told them you were, no one would believe you. I bet most woman just think you are some gold digging man living with a successful and beautiful woman."

Ouch. I guess her reasoning does somewhat make sense though…

"I can always pay for that though…"

"Why would you pay for something like that for an hour when you have a woman that is guaranteed to be more beautiful, willing and waiting for you at home?"

"Didn't you say you don't want to a month into your pregnancy because you want maximise the safety?"

"Didn't you also say that I have alternative means on satisfying you?"

"Fair point…you win this time."

"I always win."

We didn't ramble much longer as we soon fell asleep in the embrace of one another. Yesterday was such a horrible day, but today may be one of the best in my life.


	6. Chapter 6

After a long day and a hot shower, I plopped onto my bed like a whale doing a flip. I was exhausted. My paranoid wife made us bot sit through a whole day of tests in the hospital to make sure neither of us has any hidden genetic or underlying illness that could affect our baby and that we are bopth completely heathy in every way. Except my cloistral is a little high and I am 5 pounds' overweight. Other than that I got nothing out of today but boredom and annoyance. In fact, I lost a lot today. I lost blood for tests and a lot of money because all of this is not covered by my national insurance. My wife with a lower stamina than me also tumbled into bed lazily and covered both of us by the bed covers. She ran the exact same number of tests as me today, no wonder she is exhausted.

"Are you sure the baby is mine? You should also get your secret boyfriend in there to do all those tests. I'm sure he'd love it." I complained sarcastically. Yukino is not stupid. If she really has an affair and is unsure if the baby is mine or her secret lovers she would also make him do the tests. She also wouldn't do the tests with me in case the DNA tests showed that our DNA didn't match. Conclusion. It really is my kid. Shit.

"Unfortunately for me, I yet to have had the chance to try it with other men. Though I am sure plenty out there could satisfy me better than you ever could."

Ouch.

"I satisfy you just fine." I mutter as I turned away from her and turned off the remaining lights.

"I'm thankful that we are both healthy and that our child wont be plagued with anything that could affect him because of us."

"Why that suddenly."

"It's just the way my grandparents died due to cancer and multiply organ failure. I don't want our child to have to go through something like that. Call me paranoid but still."

I rolled around and patted her in the head like the way sensei did do her before.

"Don't worry. But even if he does get sick, or is impaired in anyway. I will still love the both of you. I won't blame you for anything."

"You say that now. But what if he is autistic or has some problems. Statistics show that families will always break apart due to those reasons."

"Fuck those statistics." I close in and gently pecked her on the lips.

"You really are being unfair. Taking advantage of me while I was vulnerable." She complained after our prolonged kiss escalating into something more French.

"I cannot blame myself for that. If anything I blame you."

"You're so rotten."

"I know."

* * *

Then did I not realise the hell I was going to get into in the following months. As her stomach got bigger and bigger, she got crazier and crazier. I knew it was the hormones or whatever, but even then she was soon going to blow my top. While I don't mind the simple things such adapting the food I am eating with hers to make cooking easier on her or buying things to baby proof the entire damn house. There are things which are driving me crazy. Why I know its not her fault its screwing with me dearly. She would always feel so sad and helpless, if my book sales go down for one week she would complain how useless I am and that our child would be screwed for having someone as me as he or she's father. She constantly has negative thoughts about me and herself. Not to mention a lack of interest in doing anything or have pleasure in doing anything. She also thinks that she would be a bad mother because of being brought up by hers. Not to mention that she's always angst and petty about unnecessary things.

"Are you that useless!? How can you fail to do the trash?!" She scolds at me.

"I was in the toilet, I said I'd do it."

"You said you would do it after dinner. And here you are in your natural habitat, the toilet. How can you be a father and be our support if you could not do something as simple as doing the trash."

"I'll do it now then. Sorry."

"I already did it."

"Why?! You could have just left it there for 5 more minutes. You risk hurting yourself and the baby."

"I didn't…I didn't mean to hurt the baby…I thought I could do it…I…This is all your fault!"

"No it's not. I said I would do the trash after dinner. I never specified what time I would do it. Perhaps going to wipe my mouth and wash my hands is reasonable to do after dinner. Do you except me to walk down with sauce on my hands and shirt?"

"I don't care!"

"Just go to hell." I mutter as I walked into the baby's room and locked the door behind me. Taking in massively large breaths to calm myself. Looking at the decorated babies room I speak to myself.

"This will all be gone once you come out to this world. This is all for you. She would be her again after all this is over."

Sealing my frustration and anger. I unlock the door and walk back out. Trying to apologise and somewhat resolve the situation that happened. As I walked out and turned to the master bedroom. The door was locked. I sigh and knock on it.

"Look Yuki, I'm sorry okay. Unlock the door. I shouldn't have shouted back at you. Forgive me."

"Shut up! Go away, Stay away from me you pathetic, useless dead fished eye moron. Sleep in the living room or something. Better, get out of the house, out of Tokyo. Off this country."

With nothing else I could say or do. I laid down on the sofa and rested there. I sigh and try to sleep my troubles away. That only works once or twice. But humans are emotional creatures. Anger, annoyance, sorrow, whatever that is thrown at us, even if deep inside you know she wasn't herself, it builds up. And one day, you will blow.

* * *

"I hate you! Why did I even marry you? You were looking at another woman on the internet?! You disgust me!"

"Well I am a normal guy with needs and I can't exactly have sex with you. It's not like I hired a prostitute and why are you looking through my phone in the first place?"

"I'm your wife and your daughter to be's mother.I have the right to make sure my property isn't being disloyal."

"Property? Me? That's what I am to you now?"

"What use do you have other than to grant me a child? I don't need your income; my family is wealthy. You have literally no use to me right now other than being an emotional anchor and eyesore. Leave!"

Enough is enough. I've endured enough. This has gone on for half a year and I have taken this shit day in and day out. I don't care if this is your hormones or whatever because all that you say must be from something your brain has thought or and believed. I'm done.

"Fine. I'll leave."

I grabbed my wallet, phone and keys and stormed into our bedroom. I grabbed my passport and all needed documents, grabbed at suitcase and threw in as many things as I can. Yukino stood at the living room and pointed her hands sharply at the door. After I quickly finished my packing. I stormed past her and left. Storming toward the lift with my stuff, I soon got into a taxi and asked to be taken to the train station. An hour later I was where I needed to be. Away from the demon and safe and alone. I returned to Chiba. I explained my situation to Komachi and my mother which promised to conceal my location if she called. At least for the time being while she is angry. But unknowing to them, I am considering a divorce.

I was right. Minutes later my household got a phone call. I glared at Komachi as she answered, making sure my location and whereabouts aren't revealed. She called quite a few times with the span of a night. But soon she gave up. I sat in the living room making myself a night cup of coffee as I noticed someone walking down the stairs.

"Onii chan you shouldn't drink coffee this late. You won't be able to sleep." Komachi walked past me and opened the fridge. Looking disappointed in the lack of anything she would like to eat. Sitting down at one of the benches next to the kitchen counter she peeked at me.

"So how long are you going to run away from Yukino san. Sure she said some out of line things but she's pregnant. So what can you do."

"You know the saying that whatever joke or thing someone's says there's always a hint of truth."

"She's also angry, illogical and hormone stimulated…"

"Who's side on you on?"

"Neither. All I know is this Yukino san is a very nice and kind person. Otherwise you wouldn't have married her."

"She's not. And that's why I am considering getting a divorce." Komachi turned around in surprise as she didn't expect the announcement I made.

"Don't joke about those things onii chan. You can't take it back if you did. Luckily is just me."

"I'm not joking. I'm honestly considering it."

"3 to 4 months before she gives birth though? Isn't that kinda scum of the earthy?"

"I'll take care of the kid. Just not be together with her. Perhaps it's better for the kid to be born to a single parent than have her family torn and broken apart while she grows up. I'm doing the right thing. She won't be screwed up and affected by it. She would be born with separate parents."

"Onii chan you're not being serious…you are scaring me. You used to endure crap all the time. Longer than a few months so what's changed?"

"It feels different if those words come out of the person you love most. Can you imagine? The person you trust and love most, me or mom or whoever that knows all your secrets and vulnerabilities and use it against you to hurt you every single day and you have to pull your punches?"

"Onii chan…"

"You can't. And it sucks. Hurts more than hell."

"I really don't know what to say. I don't know how it feels. No hard feelings but you try do the same to me, so I could try and understand."

It wasn't hard. It was easy actually.

"You're a spoilt irresponsible brat that murdered your own child because you want to escape from your responsibilities."

Even though she said no hard feelings it was evident my example worked and it took it to her heart, judging by the tears dropping down her eyes and her sobs. It was evident that she now understands me.

"Komachi. Sorry." I patted her head. She shakes in and hugs me tightly.

"I get it now onii chan. How much it hurts. I'm not crying because you hurt me with your words. I'm crying because of how tortured you must have been hurt. Stay here for as long as you need. I am sure Yukino san can take care of herself for now." She speaks with a broken voice.

"Thank you Komachi."


	7. Chapter 7

After a two-week long cooldown, I decided to go home and talk to her. Even though the constant messages and phone calls stopped after a few days. I guess even she knew it was good for us to have a break otherwise things would just go haywire even more. It worked. In the beginning few days, I wanted a divorce. Maybe because I was affected and angered in the spur of the moment. But then that desire died down and I wanted to go home. I guess despite having the exterior of an adult, men will always be immature. I didn't bring my luggage back in case if things go south again. But I should at least talk to her. As I reached the door I could faintly smell the odour of tea, it was something nostalgic indeed. Despite the temperature in the air wasn't all that cold, a warm cup of tea wasn't a bad thought after all. Placing inside the key and turning it, I pushed open the door. Walking inside and taking off my shoes I walk toward the living room. Yukino was sitting calmly on her usual seat of the dining table with her laptop open and a few documents around. She noticed me and shifted her look toward me, taking as a queue that she was somewhat in a good mood, well as good as she can be. I walked toward her and sat opposite her, my usual spot.

"Yo."

"I'm surprised you managed to stay away for so long. Two whole weeks away from your lover and wife, you really are a despicable man Hachiman."

Wait… Why does this sound and feel strangely familiar? Did I become an M?'

"Uh….look…"I struggle.

"Before you say anything. I would like to say that I am sorry for what I said. I know I could not take it back. But I really am sorry. I know I was against this, but I went to the doctor and got the pills which would control my hormones. My pregnancy is important, but if it affects our marriage, then I have to do something about it. So if you are considering a div…"

"I'm not. Who else is gonna make me food if I leave you." I make a small smile. She released a large breath of air, clearly relieved.

"Thank you." She speaks out.

"Look, I get you are taking pills to try to control your hormones. I know it doesn't affect the baby but I also care if it affects you. So please don't overly rely on it. Any side effects?"

"I believe a decreased sex drive is one of the side effects. But it's not like we are having any sex anyways right?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. She was right. She is 6 months pregnant and it was 6 months since we last had sex or had anything even close to that.

"Is that all?"

"Well, it's supposed to make me nauseous too, but so far, I have not been hit by that side effect."

"I see. That's good I guess. But again, don't take too much."

"I won't. Don't worry about me."

You know that would be impossible… I love you after all. She then walks toward the kitchen and picks up a cup, pouring me a cup of tea before returning to me and handing me the cup. I blow on it to make it cool enough for my lips before taking a small sip. It warmed me enough and relaxed my tensed body. I guess I should get Komachi to send me my stuff back here. I want to stay here with Yukino. Sleeping next to her tonight doesn't seem like a bad idea after staying in my room for the last two weeks. There's this strange loneliness to not wake up next to her.

"So what are doing?" I try to initiate a less tense conversation.

"Just choosing my hospital package when I have to give birth."

Why does it sound like if you are going on holiday or something…Package…what a weird word to use? But that's my opinion.

"It's almost time huh."

"Yes, in less than three months you would get to see our daughter. I just hope she doesn't inherit your dead fish eyes." She slightly rubs her stomach.

"You can't inherit them anyways. It's not a birth attribute. It's something I do, not something I was born with. They look fine and normal when I am not thinking, or looking into nothingness or being gloomy. Actually they look way better than normal."

"I suppose…your expressions are trashy… but your facial features can be considered…handsome…"

She muttered the last words, showing her embarrassment along with the faint blush on her smooth cheeks. To further make fun of her reaction I decided to flex my arms.

"What about my body? Girls always comments on guys faces but the body always seemed like secondary spec. While guys think of it as a primary. So? How is mine."

"Terrible. Nothing good about it." She turns away.

"What?! I go to the gym every week. Come on admit it! You like my body."

"Well…"She blushes.

"Certain parts aren't…completely terrible and they satisfy me immensely…"

You call me a pervert when that's where your mind drifted to? I was actually talking about my arms and thighs. That's it. I'm not talking about the Pokémon inside my pants.

"I wasn't talking about that…you know."

She immediately blushes and turns away, biting her lips in embarrassment.

"Nothing. I hate all of it." She pouted quite cutely I must admit. Satisfied with her reactions I rested on the table and looked at her for a moment. Despite the protruding stomach, she still looks stunning and nothing hinted to her being pregnant at all. She still looks as slender as she always was. Her face, arms and legs were not puffed up at all.

"Right…I will just take it that you like my six pack and buff arms."

Not that I have either of those…

"Shut up. And…Help me think of a name…for our baby." As this was an important matter that would affect this girl's entire life I lifted my head and paid full attention to Yukino. If we a give a bad name for her she could end up be make fun of. An example would be mine. Hikigaya alone is an easy enough target. Hikki, Hikimori and then millions more Yukino has instore of me. I would not allow my daughter to endure what I endured.

"Any ideas?"

"Well, considering the weather…something to do with winter?"

Basically the only option is Yuki or Yukino. So no to those. Unlike American we don't have juniors. Children with the same name. Well we sorta do actually…just that it is kinda different in design.

"Yurara, Yukime and Saki comes to mind."

"Not Saki."

"Why not?"

"I have my reasons." She stares sternly at me. I shrug in defeat.

"Fine. Aside from the weather any actual names?"

"Utaha, Nanami, Fuyuki. Are ones I quite like…"

Only one of those three has actually anything to do with the weather….To be fair I don't want Yuki to be in her name, I don't want her to want to live in Yukino's shadow or want to live up to her somehow.

"Let's not use Yuki, or Haru."

Actually I have a good Idea.

"Let's call her Nanae. Nanae Hikigaya."

"It's not a bad name but….Nana…seven…and Nanae a place in Chiba…You just picked a number closed to your name and related to a part of Chiba…"

"But you like it right?" I'm surprised you caught on so quickly…

"Nanae…Alright. Her nickname could be Nana to her friends. I hope no one just calls her 7 in English especially in Chinese."

"Why not?"

"In Chinese, specifically Cantonese, seven is pronounced similar to a swear word which is related to an erect penis."

Where the hell did you learn that from…

"How did you know that?"

"I dealt with business men in Guangzhou, China once and heard them speak, so naturally I went and researched."

"Why would they be talking about that next to you?"

"They were expressing their desires to, please excuse me for saying this, Fuck me."

"Did you?" Real mature Hachiman, obviously she didn't…

"They were ugly and in their fifties. Otherwise who knows?"

"I take that my physical attributes are a spec are desirable for you then. I mean remember we used to do it every night more or less. I never expected you to have such a big libido."

"I didn't do it for pleasure. I was doing it so we could get pregnant."

"I was talking before that. During the time when we were just married and decided we wanted some time just for the two of us, those two years. It was fun…"

"Stop teasing me, I am stull annoyed that you left for so long. I could have died."

"With Yuigahama coming daily. I honestly was worried."

"How did you?"

"I kept tabs…" I mutter. "I asked her for a favour, to visit you but not tell you that it was my idea."

"I see…" She smiles. But with a busy husband like Hayama it wouldn't be suspicious for Yuigahama to come visit here best friend every day.

"Hey…Theres something I would like to ask of you…and I know it is very out of my charcter to ask for something like this but…"

"Just ask…Where are you talking like that?"

"After I give birth. Do you think it's possible for our relationship to be…like those first two years again?"

"What do you mean?"

She clenches her small hands into fist and places it in front of her chest. Gathering her courage.

"I mean I want us to have sex more, for pleasure and not to create a baby, I want us to go out more, go on holidays, be irresponsible once in a while. And not always bound to this house. I get we both work from home and this place has become somewhat of a prison."

"You know it's a lot harder now that we have a baby right?"

"I know. But I still want to try! Since we are talking about those two years. I miss it."

"Well…I am ahead on my next book…Maybe I can take a couple of months off entirely…" I mutter. There goes being ahead…I did it so I could take on other projects and be ahead or play a game I like, but I guess Yukino is more important than all of that combined by tenfold.

"And I will also request a leave. After all it is my families company right?" She smiles at me.

I needa check how much we have saved too. I'm sure we have more than enough but still better safe than sorry. Perhaps there's all these medical and live insurance crap I needa get for our baby, and also all those educational foundations, or whatever. My parent couldn't afford those but Yukino's sure could and I hear those helped her when she was studying in America or something, though not that I would allow my daughter/little angel to be so far away from me. If it was up to me I want her home-schooled and away from the dangerous world.

"We needa find a place that's baby friendly though. Don't think going abroad is the best idea with a baby."

Especially when they cry the entire flight. I don't mind annoying others but I doubt I could endure it myself.

"We will think of it then. That's not important…as long we are together."

"I guess…"I scratch my head.

"I'm slightly tired. Would you like to take nap with me?"

"Sure."

* * *

Everything seemed to have settled down then. Yukino no longer exploded irregularly. And if she was about to, she would take the pills to fix it before anything overboard. Three months went past quickly and before we knew it Yukino successfully gave birth to a baby girl, with black hair and greyish eyes. My daughter Nanae was born. Our daughter was born. After Yukino was discharged and we went home we tried to make it an active effort to revert to like we were in the beginning of our marriage, except the kid bit obviously. The sex was back and regular, it actually helped at night because it would not make us miss it when the baby cried or if something happened. It also allowed us to be tired enough to sleep soundly and deeply despite not having many hours of sleep. But being intimate with Yukino is an easy task everyman could do. Especially since she has the face and the body of a goddess. Two hours with her a night felt and blitzed past like two minutes. In all, the arrival of Nanae was a blessing. After putting the baby to bed, I returned to the bedroom and laid down, next to Yukino was reading her book.

"Hey…" She set her book down and snuggled. Doodling circles on my chest with her finger tips.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to tonight?" She muttered slightly embarrassed with her direct question.

The day I say no, please get a knife and slit my throat. But tonight I am kinda tired…

"Do you want to?" I ask her back, after all, it was kinda up to her.

"I am quite tired tonight. After feeding her and doing household tasks, I would prefer to just snuggle and chat."

Sorry that I am useless and can't do those things.

"Anything you like."

"Can you say that you love me again?"

Eh?...

"Why? You said that once was enough…" I mutter.

"You said anything you like. Are you lying? You despicable pervert. Idiot, Dummy, nincompoop, Hachiman."

Using Komachi's words don't make them cute you know. It doesn't make you cute either. Not that you were ever not cute anyways.

I released a large, audible and frustrated sigh, releasing a breath of air, I could still faintly smell the mint from my toothpaste, so I guess doing so wouldn't be too disgusting. I pulled closer and without hesitation, pecked my wife's moist lips.

"I love you…That okay? Good enough for you?" Saying it doesn't mean jack shit anyway. Its what I feel inside that truly matters and it's not like I could convey that through those few commonly used words.

"The words afterward ruined it." She mumbled with a faint blush and digging her head close to mine, invading my side of the bed and taking over half my pillow. With my eyes slightly heavy and my body weak I placed my arm around her slender figure and pulled her even closer.

"I really do love you." I whisper directly into her ear. I could not see her reaction, but she stretched to turn off the lights and engulfed us into the darkness, with only the light from the moon and city of the outside illuminating us, the dark blue atmosphere was comfortable despite it being usually related to a solemn and dark colour. But with her, even black seemed bright.

"I love you too." She spoke with a hint of overconfidence in her breath, even though it was dark her pale skin glowed and I could see her bright smile even in this night. The bed covers keeping us both warm enough, the embrace we shared made my body temperature rise to slightly uncomfortable levels. But it was worth it. Without anything we needed to say we drifted into the realms of sleep.

* * *

To be fair, the mornings aren't usually that great. I didn't have an alarm set since my university days, but now every day at around 8am. I would be awoken by a large cry from the baby monitor. Yukino would then have to tiredly go warm the milk and go feed the little baby while I pull myself out of bed and drag myself to take a shower, just so I could wake myself somewhat I be mildly operable. I would then have to make breakfast for the two of us as it takes more time than expected for our baby to finish a bottle of milk. She's a slow eater and it seems like she would only eat while in Yukino's embrace. However, when I try, she would cry her eyes out. I don't like her latent favouritism already. I'm no good in cooking. I can...wont…make salmon like a typical Japanese because it burns too eas…I mean it's not skilful enough for a cook of my amplitude so our breakfast usually encompasses; rice, eggs, ham, sausage. A perfect fusion between Asian and western dishes. It is totally intentional and by all means not due to my limited skills. After feeding and taking a shower, Yukino joins me for breakfast with a sceptical frown.

"This again?"

"What."

"Are you deaf? Do you need to see a doctor?"

"Shut up and eat…"

"Are you sure you don't want me to make breakfast instead? I could make it at night and you reheat it in the morning?" She spoke while poking and flipping each individual piece on her plate.

Of course not! What kinda man would I be if I let my wife do all the work while she is busy feeding my delicate angel. Once she is a bit older then you can cook again.

"Nah."

"Why scrambled eggs again? 5th day in a role Hachiman."

Because I accidently broke the yolk when I cracked the egg.

" I like scrambled eggs."

"Did you break the yolk again?"

"No…" I look away, slightly embarrassed.

"Like I said. Crack it on a flat surface, not an edge."

Shit I forgot again. I used the edge of the frying pan again.

"What's wrong with egg yolks?"

"High cholesterol."

"You weight like…110 pounds."

"I like keeping my body in prime shape. Otherwise…you'd…"

"Otherwise I'd what?"

"Nothing! Now stop talking and eat."

"Fine fine." I raise my hands in defeat. I slowly ate and finished my breakfast before getting done a day's writing and talking to my editor and publisher about my schedule. I had quite a good day today. 12pm and all my work for the day is done. Yukino on the other hand was still tabbing along on her laptop after making sure our baby was entertained on her crib playing with that spinning thing. Sitting next to her on the sofa, I place my arm around her shoulder. For whatever reason, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. I was clearly disturbing her as her eyes was peeking at me subtly as well as her trying to hold off a smile.

"What…" She mumbled.

"Nothing. Just looking at what you are doing."

"I'm planning the seating for the company's annual dinner. Making sure companies that don't like each other aren't sitting with each other."

"Seems like those guys are preschool kids." I sigh.

"They surely act like one, once they get rich and powerful enough."

I wonder if I am rich and powerful enough to do those things…I earn quite a lot with my books…I surely would be nice to freely act like a douche and get away with it…wait…don't I do that already?

"Meh, when are you done? Wanna hang with you for a bit."

"What do you mean hang with me? We are living in the same house and even sitting next to one another are we not?"

That's not what I meant…

"Well…like let's do something together. Watch a movie? Hell lets go out"

"With a baby?'

Actually never mind that does make it actually hell. All the things you needa bring to prep, diapers, milk bottles, random stuff and fret when you can't find a place to change her diaper…

"Never mind."

"My point exact. Anything else you would like to do? I am almost finished. Just need to send the seating arrangement to the hotel."

"I genuinely don't know."

We can't do anything too loud that may scare the child. We can't do anything too intense that may take away our attention from our child….Basically we can't do anything fun.

"Well…if you can wait until Nanae naps, we can do 'that' if we are quick." She subtly mumbled with a faint flush of red on her cheeks.

"Nah. Don't like rushing it."

"She does nap for about 2 hours."

"Not enough. I had a tough day today."

"Rubbish. You made breakfast. Wrote for a few hours and had 2 phone calls. What about me? I had to call all these companies to ensure their attendance and coordinate with the hotel and worse of all I had to talk to nee san."

"I had to make breakfast. I win."

She glares at me and subtly bites her lips. Unsatisfied with my response. I guess I should pamper her a bit. But…pampering was never one of my 108 skills.

"I don't care about you. But I am going to set Nanae down for a nap and then I am going to sit in bed and watch some cat or Pan san videos or maybe even rest a bit. I will start making dinner around 5pm. So feel free to do what you like."

Why do I feel like a child being told what to do by my mother…

"Fine." I wave her away. She sets her laptop down and walked into our room, taking a tablet instead. I picked up her laptop instead and laid down on the sofa to find something funny or interesting to watch. Closing all her private emails and stuff I noticed on her cat and pan san wallpaper I noticed a photos folder. Opening it was like an explosion of memories. Many pictures from high school to mere days ago. One picture caught my attention was our honeymoon. Which was slightly 18 plus. It was us on the beach, with me looking uninterested us she smiled at the camera which was held by some random foreigner we asked politely. Funny enough the reason I was looking away was because there was some attractive foreigner which caught my attention with her chest. All I remember is that we thanks to my actions that night I slept on the sofa in the hotel. Great start to our marriage. Day 2 and I don't get to sleep with my wife. Most people have a ridiculous amount of sex in the first week, meanwhile I spent my first week on a hotel sofa….Another picture was during Yuigahama's wedding, which was strangely awkward as Hayama's parents preferred him to marry Yukino or Haruno. Although he managed to grow a pair and said no and chose who he wanted. This led to Hayama moving out of his family's massive home even though he still worked in his family's company. The final attention that peeked my interest is right after the delivery of our daughter. It was one of the few rare instances where I didn't look dead fish eyed and smiled genuinely. Yukino looked like hell tho. She looked all pale and sweaty, but it can't be blamed due to the immense pain of giving birth…actually, that actually kinda makes me wanna be with her right now. So setting down the laptop and flipping down the screen I rushed into the bedroom.

"Why are you running in here? You do know we have 2 bathrooms and you don't have to use the one in the master bedroom."

Ignoring her comment. I sat down beside her in bed and looked at her tablet.

"What are you watching?"

"Cat videos…" She muttered embarrassingly.

"Oh. Wanna watch together?"

She tilts her head slightly confused and I dismiss it and lean back, looking at the screen instead. Seeing some random cat doing some random thing that is deemed cute and funny.

"You're being so weird today. More than usual. Are you somehow in some good mood? Is that even possible for you?"

"I dunno. Maybe seeing some pics from our honeymoon put me in a good mood I don't know?"

She pouts and glares at me.

"Are you thinking about that random female that caught so much of your attention again?"

I shrug. Which made her visibly grunt angrily.

"Nah. Was just thinking of how cute you looked in that panda coloured bikini. Oh how times have changed. Look at you now."

I sigh fakely.

"I look the same. It was only what? Slightly over three years ago?"

"No. I think you gained a bit of weight actually."

She slapped my arm playfully before setting her tablet down, then rolling toward me and sitting herself on top of me and placed her arms on her chest, pushing me down.

"Well?"

"Well what?" I choke, expecting and excited of what's to come.

"Am I heavy or not?"

"No, no, no of course not!" Excitedly I remove my shirt, making her smirk. She then lifted herself up slightly before dropping down her whole weight on me playfully, making me grunt.

"Then why did you grunt?" She spoke whispering it into my ears.

"I…have a you know…down there and it kinda hurt when you dropped on me…"

"I see. So I am not heavy right?"

"Nope…"

"So I win right?"

"Yeah you win now let's get this off of you." I reach for her shirt, trying to lift it up. Surprisingly she slaps my hand away and her seductive look reverted to her normal idle face. She then lifts herself off of me and sits back down on her side of the bed and picking up her tablet again, looking at more pan san products. I look at her bewildered.

"Wait…so all of that teasing was just to get me to admit defeat? And you don't actually wanna do it?"

"You catch on fast rank three." She smirked. I blew a breath of air out of frustration and placed my shirt back on.

"You know you're lucky right?" I speak up.

"How so?"

"Marital rape is not a crime in Japan. So if I wanted I could have my way with you. But I didn't because I am a good man." I proudly proclaimed.

"I know. I'm lucky." She pulled herself up and pecked me on the cheek, before returning to her prior position.

"Is that a compliment toward me? That's rare. Like finding an oil deposit in your backyard rare."

"Rare. But not impossible. Perhaps like you said, this afternoon wouldn't be enough for you and I to be satisfied. So…wait until tonight." She whispered the final part seductively into my ear before winking.

Isshiki and Komachi, what have you two done with my wife. With the day set and done, I laid down trying to close my eyes for a nap. However, before I could go to sleep my doorbell was rung, then came banging on my door. Knowing it was something important I rushed out to open it. Only to see a fretting Yuigahama with tears streaming down her eyes.

"Hikki! Yukinon! Help me! Please!"

"Sure, sure, calm down. What happened, where's Hayama?"

Yuigahama shook her head. Yukino looking visibly concerned and placed her palm onto her shoulder.

"My son, my son. He's missing!" Yuigahama spurted.

Just like that, my good day had gone to shit.


	8. Chapter 8

Yuigahama pants somewhat slowed down as Yukino calmed her down. I was slightly weary of the event. Hayama's kid is not a dumb kid. He won't do something like this for no reason. And as there was no phone call up until now the likelihood for the kid being taken for ransomed is close to nil. Plus, this is Japan and with him being in a high end school close to a police station and a massive mall makes him being captured even more unlikely. Which means the kid is try to not be found intentionally. If it was intentional then there could only be two reasons. As once a kid myself I would want to hide from my parents if my grades were bad and I became scared to face them. Hayama's kid is smart, and doing badly is of a low chance, so it must mean that he is doing this for another reason. Attention. The thing that plague kids, especially one with like Hayama and Yuiaghama's kid. Yuiagahama Yui will definitely give him all the attention he needs, but the attention he really wanted from is from his dad Hayama Hayato. Which is something that I cannot do. In fact, if I was to find him it would even be more detrimental in the long run.

"I don't think we would be of any help. Where is Hayama?"

"Hachiman?" She looked at me shocked, somewhat surprised as my denial of assisting Yuigahama. She pulled on my shirt gently, making me look at her. I shake my head. Sometimes I wonder why Yukino would think so ill of me. Even now she doesn't get that when I say something, I have a reason. She says I'm a good man, but she doesn't seem to think that way. What kind of person does she really think I am?

"Hikki, please…"

"No."

"Why!?" She begged, tears streaming down again, her hands grabbing each other in some praying positon, as if she was begging a god for assistance.

"You haven't answered my question. Where is Hayama!" I raise my voice in the last part. Any moment we waste here the kid is going to get in more and more danger.

"He's in a meeting…I couldn't get through…" She muttered.

Bullshit excuse.

"Storm up his office and pull him out. Your son, is your problem. Not mine, not Yukino's. You have to understand this. You can't just storm over here for our help. It's not healthy for me to be that role. That parents evening was bad enough."

"Hachiman, this is our friend, you cannot possibly be this cruel."

"Hikki…No…Hikigaya san. I know I have been a constant third wheel. I bugged Yukinon with phone calls and messages during your honeymoon and I always follow you two around. Help me with this and I will never bother you or Yukinon again. My son is the most important thing in this world to me, and I am dumb and I can't figure out where he is. So I need you, this time. Just this last time."

"Even if I help you and if it will fuck things up even more now or in the long run. You want me to?"

"Yes."

"You really are a bitch…" I mutter and sighed. The best I can do now is to find a way that could accomplish Yuigahama's reque…plea… Is to find the kid without Hayama's help and somehow not worse the relationship….maybe even knock some sense into the kid and help him.

"Yukino. Stay home and take care of Nanae. And…wait till I get home… we need to talk."

"Sure."

I got into the car with Yuigahama and I started the car driving to the places where I think the kid could be hiding.

"Hikki…How do you know where he is?"

"I had a crap childhood. I was always sad, always had been. I know the places. Sit tight." I pressed on the pedal and speeded. It was about 4 now. I had effectively two hours before it got dark and dangerous. My first stop was the park close to his school. The one that is smaller, old, that no one goes to. The perfect place to be alone.

"Wait here." I got out of the car and scanned the park. Nothing. Which means the only place he could effectively hide out, being the large mall. Hes not a poor kid so he definitely would have some money. The best place to kill time and be alone especially on a school day after school would be watching a movie in a cinema. I guess being a loner has its perks. Unable to locate the kid I returned to the car. Yuigahama looking disheartened seeing my return without her boy. So we proceeded to drive to the other destination, due to the end of thedays busy traffic, may take half an hour. I grit my teeth.

"You actually care. Don't you?" She mutters.

"I do care. But it doesn't mean what I am doing is right."

"What do you mean?"

"The kid wants his dad's attention. What I am doing, will allow that to spiral even further down. Even worsening it with his disappointment if he sees me finding him instead of Hayama."

"So that's why you said no…you don't hate me after all."

Even you…

"I don't." In fact, I really care about you. I just don't like Hayama very much and neither does he, me.

"You seem calmer."

"You seem to know where you are going and know what is going on. So I have faith now."

"Right."

"You really had a rough childhood didn't you. Like really bad. Even I don't know everything."

"Neither does Yukino. Not every detail at least. In fact, some, I don't even like to think about myself."

Yuigahama simply nods. Soon the traffic cleared and we arrived at the mall. The first destination was the movie theatre. I look at the movies and isolate the options the kid would actually go into. Action movies, superhero movies. The struggle would be finding him in the darkness. But with the lack of customers, and begging the tickets selling guy, we were allowed to see the CCTV and even locate the exact movie and house he entered.

"Stay here. Let me do this."

Yuigahama nods. Pretending to be another customer. I buy popcorn, a coke and enter the movie. Which had only started for minutes. Meaning this was not the first movie he watched or thing he did in order to avoid his parents or going home. Walking inside, I locate him and sit beside him, pretending this was all some big coincidence.

"Yo."

"Oh…hey." He looks at me slightly surprised and sceptical but as he sees me gobbling up popcorn, his defences breaks and his posture relaxes, allowing me into his personal space.

"So what are you doing here? Watching a movie on your own?" He speaks up. It didn't matter, there were less than 10 people in the enter Imax room.

"I have a bitch wife that thinks I'm an asshole. Aside from the sex we really don't like each other. So I came for an escape."

"I see. I never understood why you two got married anyways. Same as my parents." He commented with a small chuckle.

"What do you mean." I take his words with caution. Feeling that he was getting into my head somewhat. But I may be overthinking it.

"Auntie Yukino doesn't see you as like some amazing guy, like some superhero. She thinks of you as trash. But my mom thinks the opposite way, always saying how amazing you are. Hell, even dad agrees. So why didn't you choose my mom and instead chose the woman that belittles you."

He was mostly right and the truth is.

"I don't know. Your mom is a better woman. Perhaps the coming of me and Yukino wasn't romantic or affectionate at all. It was logical."

"I see."

"What about you, why are you here brooding and watching some random movie? Don't you have friends to hang out with?"

"Not today. Perhaps if you are as smart as mom says you'd deduce that already."

"What happened? Parents evening again?"

"No. dumbass, what day in school does parents matter and removes kids form hanging out afterward?"

"Careers day? You're in primary school."

"A prestigious one."

Right….I guess that completely slipped my mind.

"So what happened."

"No one came. Not even my mom. Dad said he will but…"

"He didn't…"

"I expected it too. I just didn't expect to be hurt my something else."

"What?"

"My parents were the only ones that didn't come. Everyone else's did. Even ones busier, richer and more important than my dad. So how little and insignificant I must be to him."

"Oh."

"I wish I had someone as useless as you as my father. At least in the grand scheme of things. I won't be that useless." He sighs.

"You know, my parents never went to my careers day, my sports days, parents evening…or anything. I always went home myself, they thought that I was some Neet and never knew that I was bullied. I never even see them most of the time. Work was their life. In the hierarchy of my family, I was beneath the family cat. I wanted to die. But I was too much of a coward to even admit that even though it was always deep inside my mind, I am probably too much of a coward to do it."

"I didn't know. You don't seem happy but…you at least seemed like you don't care."

"No, I care. I care a lot. But I somehow never showed it and just took it all in. No one ever loved me, cared for me, or thought I was important…and I start to believe it too. I believe that I deserved to be in pain, hated and I actively encouraged hurting myself, for the sake of others. Because their life was worth more than mine and I'm useless. Even today, I think everyone around me deserves to live more than me."

In fact, that's exactly how I feel. No smart ass comments, nothing, no cover up. The truth is I just want to die. Because at least that would make me stop hurting or hate myself.

"That's really dark. I don't think that way."

"That's because you have an amazing mom that loves you dearly. So screw your dad. Don't look for his approval, in fact, hell. Ignore his existence. Don't look to fulfil your expectations that he doesn't give two shits about. Just be yourself and be happy…do whatever you want free of the shackles. Your mom is a D grade student. She'd be proud of anything and everything you become and do….just don't do drugs and smoke…that's bad okay.."

He chuckles a bit as my seemingly inspirational speech broke down and fell apart in the end.

"I think I wanna go home now…"

"Sure. Its late…I'll walk with you…in fact you hungry? I don't see you with any drinks and popcorn."

"I can eat."

"Then let's go get something beforehand first."

"I wish you were my dad." He mumbles, looking slightly embarrassed.

"No you won't." I look at him honestly and he nods.

"You should divorce auntie Yukino and find someone that actually appreciates you, you know. Someone that not just says you are a good guy, but actually thinks so."

"You're like…7…"

"But I'm not blind."

"Maybe…I have a kid now too. It's not that simple, it's not just the matter of me and her anymore."

"You're 28 years old. You die at around 85. So you only have 58 years of hell left."

Holy shit he does maths pretty well for a kid so young…maybe he is right though. It is a long time.

"You do know that, no matter what happens between your dad and your mom or me and Yukino. I won't ever get with your mom and I won't ever become your parent right? Just throwing that out there if you are coaxing something."

"I'm just an 8-year-old. You think too much of me."

Walking out of the theatre the kid to his surprise see Yuigahama, which sprinted forward and hugged him tightly, not even telling him off at all. Hell, I wish Yuigahama was my mom too, and not just because the fact I get to hug her and dig my face into those big breasts of hers, but because even if my life played out the same, I would have a single person in my life that I could vent out all my problems with. Komachi I won't because she's my younger sibling and I wouldn't want to worry her…so yeah…maybe if I had someone like her in my life, I would be just a little less rotten. We then ate dinner and it was all over when I drove the two of them home. Sleeping and leaning against one another in the back seat. I still needa confront Hayama which was not home by the time I drove them back. But unlike his son. I get to see that man twice a week, after all. He is my lawyer and I am his client. Dropping them off, I drove back home.

As I unlocked and opened the door, Yukino came to me in her nightgown and held my hands, pulling me away from the closed door.

"Let's continue what we couldn't this afternoon. Nanae is a sleep and we have all night to ourselves…I'm proud of what you did. Yui messaged me and told me everything."

I shook her hands off of mine, by now we were at the corridor, just outside our room. Her gaze shifted into one of curiosity with a hint of worry.

"Hachiman?"

I shake my head again. Straightening my thoughts, but it was not scripted or planned and I didn't know how to start this conversation?

"Do you want to do it in the living room instead? I wouldn't mind…" I could see sweat on her forehead, she was visibly worried now. I still didn't know what I should say, but here it goes.

"What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Well…you are a rotten…" before she did her typical bs banter, I cut her off with a serious look, disengaging my dead fish eyes and looked at her with all my attention and energy.

"I'm being serious. What am I to you?"

"Don't be stupid. You're my husband, the man I love."

"I mean. What type of person do you think I am? Do you think I am a good man?"

"You are not a good man." She spoke hesitantly.

"Elaborate. I'm not angry. I just wanna know."

"You aren't a good man in the conventional sense. You do good. But your ways, intentions are not noble. You don't always find the best solution, just efficient, nowadays you try to not hurt people that care about you on the way. But you are still by no means good."

"What about today? Why did you think I helped Yuigahama."

"Well, she promised to never bother us again, especially in our private times, so that must be at least a small trigger right?" She mumbled somewhat hesitant.

She really doesn't know much everything about me, as much as I think she does. She doesn't.

"Actually you're wrong."

"Then why did you refuse to help in the beginning?"

"Because I knew the kid wanted his dads and not his moms or mine. And me intervening did exactly the bad I expected, for the kid to see me as a parental figure instead of his actual ones."

"How am I supposed to know when you don't say anything!" She speaks up with a raised voice, angered and annoyed.

"I just thought you'd know and understand really." Somehow despite her reasoning, I felt disappointed.

"I…" She mumbled.

"I'm…I…do love you. Don't lose that knowledge…" She continued.

"I know. But I don't know if you fell in love with me by knowing the real me, or the ideal me, or the me that you think I am?"

"All I know is that I love Hikigaya Hachiman."

"But…do you really know me? I mean you love me, even though you don't think I am a good person. That's possible, I'm not doubting you. But what I think I should be clear about is…I think I am a good person...not in the conventional sense…but still good and this confuses me and makes me rethink…"

"But you are not. Doing good things, doesn't make you a good person. It may sound hypocrite, but it is true. In fact, you don't always do good things. Sometimes you do things just to fulfil someone else's selfish desires. How is that good?"

"I do it because…I…" Actually why did I do it? It wasn't because we were the service club, that it was a job. I did it because…I did it because…Hayama was right…I did it because there was no one there to save me when I called out…So I fulfilled people's desires because I never had anyone that saved me…I didn't want the same, the helplessness to happen to them…So I helped them.

"I didn't help them because we were some dumb club. I helped them because no one helped me, and I didn't want the same for them."

"That honestly…was not what I thought. They crossed my mind, sure. But not as what I really thought was your true motive. I simply thought you took it as a job, a task."

I smile.

"I guess you don't know me that well after all huh." I slightly laugh hysterically.

"What about me?! Do you know everything about me? Who cares! We love each other and that's all that matters right? That's the genuine we seek right?"

"I don't know really…" I mutter. I love her too. But knowing how much we don't really know each other somehow…just…slightly ruined that affection.

"So…what now? Will you come to bed with me? You won't leave me again right? If we don't know all about each other now it doesn't matter. We still have many years ahead of us. So let's start tonight? Tell me all about you, things I know and things I don't and I will do the same." She spoke seemingly in an almost begging tone.

"I think I need some time. Don't worry." I pull her close and hugged her, turning my head sideways and kissing her on her temple. But her worried look did not go away.

"I'm going to take a shower." I speak as I let her out of my arms and walked past her. That night I wasn't really able to sleep as memories and thoughts plagued me. Tomorrow is going to suck.


	9. Chapter 9

You know that awkward atmosphere, when there is clearly something wrong, but both parties pretend that everything is okay and contribute in menial conversation, just to keep with the flow or kill the awkward air somewhat. That is what I have been living through for the last month or so. After telling her how I feel, whilst neither of us has plans to leave on another or do anything of the sort. The relationship was evidently strained. We've been through a lot, more than any typical couple would ever face, so I think it would be okay. It's just that…behind that usual banter we share, I didn't know that she actually didn't think of me as that good person that I think I was. Sure, I was no hero, I don't take down thieves or fight disasters, but part of me hopes that my wife would actually think of me as a true good man and not someone that just did good because it was a job at that time or it came with a certain perk.

In the end, talking about my feelings was a bad idea. Hence why I tend to keep it to myself. But after seeing her bursting into tears because I usually remained silent, I decided to try my hand on being a bit more open. Now all it did was backfire on me. How typical. Never have once in my life gone well for me, even now, after seeming many years of happiness, life has to throw another hurdle at me. Maybe it is time for me to flex my muscles and get my life back on track. The biggest problem with us right now is the fake "it's okay" thing we are doing by our meaningless words. We weren't good at it, "The weather is nice today yeah?" is obviously not hiding the fact that something is wrong between us. The comfortable silence between us is gone, replacement by the typical real world awkwardness that forces us to say something dumb. The problem is evident as we both work from home, making us in proximity almost all the time and my solution for this isn't grand at all, going to a fast-food restaurant starting with M all day just to avoid my own wife.

The most awkward moment of all is probably now. Laying in bed in utter silence next to each other's with our backs facing one another. Worse part is that neither of us is tired and knows each other is not asleep. Before all this debacle we would either chat, have sex or just cuddle, although the latest being something she likes. Now it's just silence. Feeling even more tireless than usual, I uncovered the bedcovers. Maybe watching a movie on my laptop with headphones on until I get tired may work. With the volume low and with headphones I won't disturb Nanae. And if I do fall asleep it would be fine to do so on the sofa. Maybe I'll get a blanket and take my pillow just in case. Grabbing my pillow and sitting up I try to leave the bed. Only to be stopped by something hooking by shirt down. I turn expecting to see my shirt hooked onto some threading on the bed, but it was a hand. She kept her face away and back facing me, just reach out her arm to grab a tiny corner of my shirt. Did she do every night? Or just because I was about to leave?

"Don't go…" Her cold voice broke the long silence.

"I can't sleep. I'm not tired, so I'll go watch a movie on my laptop or something." I force myself forward, making her tiny grasp slip off. I hear a gasp as her grip slipped. I picked up the pillow and stood up, turning around to grab the covers of mine.

"Please…" I hear her speak in a begging tone. Back still facing me.

I sigh in frustration.

"I can't sleep. What am I supposed to do?" I glare at her backside which was still facing me.

"Do whatever you were going to do outside, here."

You'd just complain if the volume was too high or if the light was too bright, stopping you from sleeping, so what the hells the point.

"No."

Grabbing all I needed I proceeded out the room. As I walked out and closed the door, I could hear an almost inaudible sound. The sound of sobbing. As the sound was so insignificant, I take it as something I misheard as the sounds from the outside was probably the cause of this. Taking no further note or curiosity I walked out and dropped myself on the sofa. Flipping open my laptop which I set on the coffee table before bed and made sure the charger was plugged in. I watched a movie and soon enough fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up sweaty and with neck pain. Sweaty from the laptops exhaust fans blowing air down on my chest, I pick myself up and set the now hibernating laptop down. Walking in the master bedroom for clothes to change. I couldn't help but seeing Yukino with her bedsheets not covering her entirely. I sigh and walk over, covering grabbing a corner I slide it over to cover her shoulders. I walk over to her side, couldn't resist to peek at her. I notice a trail of wet marks from the side of her eyes down to her chin, not to mention her reddened eye lids. Realisation hit me quite hard, that what I did caused her to cry to sleep. Guilt ridden, I kneel down to look at her for a while, then closing my eyes to absorb the situation. I really don't know what to do and say, what to think. I don't know what I can do moving forward. How can I dissolve this thing going on between us? I cannot force myself to not be hurt or saddened by her admittance of what she felt about my character. I simply hit a dead end. When I opened my eyes I was greeted with her ones of sapphire. Surprised I blush and fall back, landing on my ass.

She noticed her wetted cheek she immediately rubs her eyes with her hand. I grab her hand to stop her. Because I already knew.

"Sorry. About last night. I should not have left. I didn't leave because I found u irritating or something. I just didn't want the laptop to disturb you."

"I see. I must have been overthinking then. Forgive me."

"You don't have to speak so formal to me you know." I place my palm on her head and gently stroked it down to her cheek.

"How are we right now?" She mutters.

"I don't know. But don't think that I would leave you. Keep that in mind. That's all I got so far really…"

Useless….I really am useless.

"You're so useless." She chuckles. I guess we can see this as some sort of breath through. First casual conversation since what feels like forever.

"I know."

"You know. I wish I was like you. You don't need people to say anything because you can read them and understand them. On the other hand, I couldn't and could only interpret and guess. Sometimes even doing so wrong for years."

On the other hand, you could judge that as me being incompetent in conveying my emotions and being unable to communicate with others. That never changed. Except Komachi I still never managed to be able to convey everything openly to. Even Yukino. Even her. Supposedly the one I am supposed to connect with the most. After all… it's supposed to be wife over little sister right? That's how it's supposed to be right?

"It's also my fault, my communication skills are lacking to say the least…in fact I'm crap. You probably know nothing about the man you share a bed with and I probably don't know much about you either."

"Then tell me. From day one. Everything. The best and the worse that happened and I will do the same."

I couldn't help but laugh. The tragedies that the two of us share will take days for us to convey and finish. Not to mention everything else in between.

"That would take days." I laugh.

She sits up and hugs a spare pillow.

"It's not like we have anything better to do." She taps on the empty side of the bed, my side of the bed.

It was now 6am. So no excuses on my part. So I walk around to get on my side on the bed, sitting up and leaning on the bed end beside her.

"So? You start or I start?"

Even if I was to start where was I to begin?

"You start."

"From when?"

"From when you got those." She points at my eyes. I nod and take a deep breath.

"Well. Before was when I just got bullied for no reason. I guess what happened in middle school was what made me who I am today."

"Was it because of that girl? The one from the valentine's event and Christmas event."

"Partially. But it didn't begin with my confession of her. It was the fact that people didn't know me, even though I tried to connect I was judged and bullied for no reason at all. Then I met Orimoto. Someone that seemingly gave me kindness and I mistook it for affection. Naturally I confessed. Got rejected, the worse part was she told everyone and the abuse got worse. Just the following day the whole world knew. So I lost faith. So I applied Sobu. To run as far away from those people as possible. To restart. Then the car accident and my fate was sealed. So I became who I am now."

"So everything was still because of that day. If you weren't hit you could have gotten your restart. Your new life."

"But hey. It got me you so that's the silver lining right? I believe now it's your turn."

"What do you want to know?"

"I more or less know about your childhood. So I am gonna be a bit selfish. Tell me about Hayama and what you thought of me. Everything."

She slightly frowns upon hearing me mention Hayama. But I get it. I don't like mentioning Orimoto either.

"He was just a sea of disappointments. I thought I could trust him, that he would protect me, but in the end all I got too was betrayal. He would rather make me take the blame for something that I didn't do, just to maintain some status quo and his place in the social hierarchy, because of what he feels he is expected to be."

"Right. Pathetic as usual."

Now on to the main grilling… me…

"You on the other hand. Your facial features are fine. Your expression on the other hand was what I noted at first glance."

"That bad huh…"

"Well I didn't exactly predict I would run into my husband at that moment, so I wasn't really looking at you in a mating standpoint."

That logic…well…it did sorta make sense. Even my fist impression of her after hearing her spill all her rude stuff was her lack of a chest.

"Continue."

"At first, I felt you were rotten to the core. Despicable. Pessimistic. Cynical. A terrible person. But I knew you were different somewhat. You didn't treat me like some object to obtain because of my beauty or my academics."

Okay some points there…

"I know you didn't fall in love with me then. So get to it. Don't go easy on me."

Not that you were.

"My opinions of you changed after seeing you solve requests after request. And so did my feelings. Cultural festival was probably the beginning. Then seeing you hurt yourself constantly. I start to feel that you were getting hurt because of meeting us…so I pushed you away."

"Right. So let's skip the recap. What do you think of me? Let's just lay it out there."

"I think you are a strong independent person. That doesn't care how the world sees you and whilst you aren't the nicest man or the best person. You get things done and I liked that. And slowly I fell for you."

"There's something I feel you are mistaken."

Her shoulders drop and sighs. As if the world had ended.

"Again? Just how much am I mistaken about you? How little do I really know about you?"

"I'm not strong. I'm weak. Instead of standing strong and continue being myself even though I was bullied, rejected and ignored. I instead turned into someone else after the crash and the failed reboot. I remember saying that an identity isn't really an identity if it's so easily changed. I believed that because that was exactly me. I am no one."

"I see. Well, if an identity is what you lacked then I must really be a no one." She smiles solemnly. Enough to render me silent. That sad solemn look, that frown. It's so damn annoying to see for some reason. Its irritating, like Satella's thousand hands are pressing down and clenching hard down on my heart and chest. It's so damn annoying. Something about my body and emotions I cannot control.

"Doesn't matter now. You're you and that's just fine." I mumbled. Much to her surprise. She turned her head to face me and seemingly gasped, her mouth slightly opened and her eyes wide. I glare in return.

"What." I barked.

"Nothing…" She mumbled and quickly turned away.

"Anyway…" I fake a cough.

"That all really. I'm done." Concluding my statement, I leave the rest to Yukino. The ball was on her side of the court now.

"I have to admit. It does seem that you know me far better than I know you. And it does seem sad that is the fact. Usually the woman is supposed to know the man more."

"Well. We aren't exactly normal…."

Not one bit. Aside from our physical needs as a human being, our relationship and personality is far from normal.

"So what now? We finally had this conversation. How are we going to move forward from now?"

Now? Yukinoshita Yukino doesn't know all about me then. But she knows who I am now, today after this moment and confrontation. Isn't that okay then? Since time rolls forward, not back. The past is our experiences so we could learn what to do and what not to do again. The future is what really matters now.

"Like how we always do. But a nice breakfast is what I want right now, moving forward. Like a really nice breakfast preferably made by you. Otherwise what is the point of you woman?"

Smiling at probably our first words of banter she crosses her arms and looks at me.

"I would have you know that woman isn't just for sex, cleaning and cooking. Your barbaric and old fashion views are what causing Japan to be seen as backward thinking." She retorted proudly with a evidently fake angry face.

"Not just for, meaning those are things you are supposed to do too and since you haven't done the other two, I want you to cook now. I'll feed the baby?"

"Do you have breasts that can do that?" She crossed her arms, slightly puffing them up and making them somewhat more prominent. But there's 2 issues here. 1 she doesn't have breasts either …well I'm kinda being harsh here. It's not huge, but it's not small either, B cup I suppose…Not to mention the perfect shape and softness…and 2 she kept some in the fridge which I can warm up.

"Well neither do you, by the looks of it." I reached my hand out and gently cupped it. She smacked my hand away and couldn't help but blush because well…I did just grope her. It reminded me that we were really married as I could do something like that without much consideration and thought. Not to mention she allowing me to do so without prior warning.

"Who said you could touch me there…" She mumbled.

"I did?"

She chuckles slightly and smiles, even though I could see that she was desperate to try and conceal it as much as possible but to no avail.

"What do you want then?"

"Chefs choice."

She nods and we both pick ourselves off the bed, changing to more comfortable clothing for the day. Since we worked from home, it was basically just slightly less than casual attire. To be honest I would be fine walking around naked if Yukino wasn't such a pain in the ass. After changing we both proceeded to the kitchen. As she cooked whatever she was going to, I found the bottle and reheated it. Proceeding into Nanae's room I pick her up gently in one arm and proceeded to the living room, sitting down at the dining table, I gently flip the milk around and gently placed it into her mouth. She began to suck the warmed milk and she suddenly tapped my hand after a few minutes, she tapped my hand. I thought she had enough or if the milk was cold so I lifted the bottle away from her.

"Bapa" She giggled and spoke….wait…She spoke! She said papa!

"Yukino! COME HERE! RIGHT NOW ITS URGENT!" I shouted in the top of my lungs. Yukino quickly hurried out of the kitchen and ran toward us, looking scared and worried.

"What's wrong?! Did she choke?!"

"She said papa!" Her worried face collapsed into one of happiness, she covered her mouth with her hand and kneeled down in front of us, eyes red and tears forming in the corners of her blue eyes. But this time it was tears of joy unlike last night. On the other hand, I felt some warmth on my cheks and neck, running down. Yukino looks at me and smiles. Picking Nanae away from me.

"Hachiman. You cry-baby." She laughed out. After her words came to me, it came to the realisation that tears were running down uncontrollably. I smile and wipe them away. Yukino picked up the bottle to continue the feeding.

"Now say mama."

"Bapa."

"Ma….Ma…"

"Pa…Pa…."

Yukino's face grew slightly irritated and she pouted.

"Mama."

"Papa." Nanae giggled. Shes even saying it even closer to real worlds now?! Bapa could be some random noise she made but papa?! She loves me! Yay!

"MAMA." Yukino spoke up slightly louder.

"PAPA." Nanae too raised her voice. Yukino turned her head toward me with a frown.

"I want a son. Our daughter is obviously favouring you. It's unfair. Give me a son that favours me."

Ha? And what's that burning smell…We both noticed the escalating burning smell and I rushed into the kitchen. Turning off the fire before everything was burned. But it was still all black as coal. Thankfully…instant ramen to the rescue. Yukino continued to feed Nanae whist I made the ramen, coming out with two bowls she was still trying to get her to say Mama but with no success. After feeding her and letting her sit and play on the baby chair. I turned to my wife as we began to eat.

"Are you serious about wanting a son or was it a spur of the moment thing?"

She blushed.

"A bit of both…."

"Okay…so you want one or not?" I ask again. She places her hand on her chin and ponders for a short moment.

"I would not be against it…we have money…But we should get a bigger apartment or a full on house though…Perhaps the process to make the baby is also enjoyable…" She speaks to herself as she continues to think. She then nods to herself and turns her gaze back to me.

"I want another. Doesn't have to be a son…but I want another."

Hopefully this one will side with me too…

"Well let's get right on it after breakfast then." I speak casually and continued to eat.

"We should get a bigger house. We can afford one outright. Countryside areas of Tokyo maybe?" It's not like the money is yours. I should have a say in it…but I don't dare speak out to her so…I guess the money is hers…To be honest I would rather spend the money on a new car that is completely unpractical like a Lamborghini or Ferrari so that Yukino's family friends won't look at me like some gold digging peasant whenever we are forced to go to some event. I guess those dreams are gone now….

"Alright then…Choose a house you like and I'll try to pay for it…" I am so whipped. But I should be fine. With savings and the current sales. I should be able to afford anything fine. Just not a mansion like her family home though…

"What do you mean you will pay for it? The money is ours so we will both pay for it."

I earn more…and you didn't exactly complain when I bought this flat, you paid zero. Well technically it is ours. Both are names are on the papers not to mention we are married.

"Of course. That's exactly what I meant sorry." I answered. Avoiding further conflict. I get to have sex, so I should endure as much as possible. And after a few weeks without it due to the previous issue with had considering our relationship, the notion of it was very exciting and tempting.

"You do know that I won't be mad even if you disagreed right? You don't have to back off and act all coward like because you want sex. We can do it whenever and wherever you want." She shrugged and sighed. Irritated I stop eating my ramen to look at her.

"Whenever and wherever huh? Balcony."

"Except that."

"Backstairs."

"That. Too." She glared.

"The car."

"Hachiman, I'm getting angry."

I immediately lower my head and continued eating.

"Sorry…" I mumbled after taking a few bites. She turns to her side and faintly blushes…

"I didn't say no to the last one."

With that, our adventures for a new house and a second child begins. The past doesn't matter anymore really, what could be changed isn't that…but the future.


	10. Chapter 10

So far baby making volume two has been great, the intimacy, the closeness, the intensity…everything was damn near perfect. For two whole weeks we have been on it constantly, however like all good things, it comes to an end one day. Because tomorrow, would be our monthly brunch with my in laws. So tonight we decided to make the most of it. Both of us lay exhausted in bed, panting, satiated. She rolled toward me so she could cuddle close to my bare body and she looked up at me with a smile. The bed covers covering our bodies and keeping us warm. Even though our sweat and proximity was probably enough, making it very hot. She reached out and grasped my hand, clenching it.

"I have to admit. That was fairly amazing…" She mumbled as she panted. To be honest I was only able to do those things because your body was flexible enough to.

"Where did you learn that?" She asked me in curiosity. I wouldn't dare admit the truth. The fact was that I learned it using internet pornography during the time we weren't being intimate when we had relationship problems a few weeks back.

"Natural talent." I replied boldly. She chuckles and shakes her head, before resting down on my chest.

"I don't want to have brunch with my parent's tomorrow." She complained. To be honest, I don't want see them either. Mainly I don't want to see your sister, but still.

"What are you? Six?" I teased and poked her nose. She pulled an irritated face and flared a look at me.

"It's not like you want to see them either."

"What are you talking about? I love seeing your parents. It's like going XP farming with boosters."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing…I'm just joking." Our lack of interests and understanding is totally real.

"Otaku, chikan, hentai, ecchi Hachiman."

Oi oi. That literally has nothing to do with what I said?

"You let me." I shrug. She glares and clicks her tongue.

"By the way Yukino, why did your parents make it so abundantly clear that we have to attend?"

"Not sure, they probably just want to see Nanae."

I have a sinister feeling about this….

"Let's go to sleep. Unless you would like to try again…" She looks at me with a faint blush on her cheeks, losing the sheets around her chest allowing it to slide off, revealing her perfectly shaped body and breasts.

Again? What am I superman?! Just because you have some ridiculous level of libido doesn't mean that I do. Poking her nose, I laid down on my side facing her, my eyes close to closing. I tried to say something but couldn't. All I did before I lose consciousness was looking at her face before my world faded into darkness.

"Maybe tomorrow then…"

* * *

"Why are they here." I point in surprise seeing Hayama's father, Hayama, Yuigahama and their son on the table we had booked for brunch. I turn to my mother in law, which was the only Yukinoshita there. Her husband, my father in law and my line of defence was nowhere to be found. Yuigahama looked away sheepishly as if she knew what was going to happen and never warned or told us beforehand. Alerted, Yukino and I sat down and made our orders, while our minds were full of worry and thinking of ways to get out of this situation that we are in.

"Where is father?" Yukino asks. Even Haruno is not here. So basically aside from each other we have no allies. Usually I would say Yuigahama is our ally, but in this situation I don't think she fits that role.

"He has a board of directors meeting; he will not be joining us today Yukino." Yukino's mother answered. I would like to call her by name but she is simply too much of a bitch for me to even respect her enough to call her by it. So from here on out, all she is in my head will be bitch. I would use the C word but I guess that's slightly too much.

"So…why are they here?" I ask my mother in law…bitch….

"Oh. You should be all familiar with each other since you are all high school and college friends."

"You mean aside from my daughter in law which never got into college and was pregnant?" Hayama's father pretended a joke, making Yuiaghama grunt in embarrassment and for Hayama to look down in shame. His first mistake as a son in the eyes of his father. Even though it seemingly sounded like a joke, what Hayama's father said was full of malice. After all she never liked Yuigahama at all. He was fine with her as a play thing for Hayama, but as a wife, not so much. After all he wanted was Hayama to get with Yukino or Haruno. But I ruined that from happening through malice on my own. But…No one talks to my friends like that.

"Oh Yui was just unlucky. Yukino and I got it on all the time and we were just lucky that nothing happened." I said with a smirk. Yukino knew my intentions and nodded with a fake smile.

"Well, maybe if you didn't soil Yukino san she might be my daughter in law instead of Yui?! Right haha." He seemingly kid, when the truth is my relationship with Yukino completely ruined his and bitches plans of merging the two company's together. Hayama kept his typical fake smile and Yuigahama forced a sour laugh. In their perfect world, it would have been best if Yuigahama and I never existed.

"I guess that's true Hayama san. This pervert beside me could never keep his hands off me. It is truly embarrassing." Yukino added with a sarcastic bow. Bitch faked a few coughs, indicating she wanted to talk.

"Well. Our intentions were originally for our families to merge through Yukino and Hayato kun. But since that couldn't happen due to you both finding…true love…we come to why I requested your attendance here today."

I don't like this one bit. Yukino and I glare in response, what the hell does she want.

"Luckily, Yukino and Hachiman you two are blessed with a daughter. And Hayato kun is blessed with a son. So maybe a chance for our two families to become one, is not a distant dream after all."

"wait a second…Mother…you…don't possibly mean…" Yukino fretted and as did I.

"Yes. I would like to initiate an arranged marriage between our families."

"What?! That's totally fucked up! Nanae isn't even 1 and his son is 7!" I spat out angrily. The two elders chuckled.

"Of course not. We are talking about our next grandchildren." Bitch answered me instead, displeased by my crude language and volume in such a high-end place.

"What?" Yukino looked like her heart sank.

"You see Yui is pregnant." Hayama Hayato finally spoke.

"And we hear that Hikki and Yukinon you two are also trying to get a second so…" Yuigahama couldn't finish her clear forced speech by her father in law, but she got her point across. All of this was a scheme by our two sides elders in an attempt to finish off what they wanted. To ensure the power and place of the family's by forming it into one super power.

"Yukino's not pregnant yet. And what if it's a girl or if we decide not to have another. What if I change my mind, say right after this conversation?" I taunt my mother in law. Clearly father in law and Haruno san has no idea about this otherwise he would be here to stop it.

"Well, then I guess maybe Nanae could marry Hayato kun's son instead. 7 years isn't much. Jiro is 8 years older than me." She faked a smile. Are you threatening me you bitch?! But somethings not clear. Why now? Of all the time you could have done this. Why now, this moment, today?

"Why? Why so suddenly."

She grunts slightly. Yukino too also looking sceptical. Bitch slightly sighs.

"You see, Yukino, your father is getting old. The board and the others are trying to get him out of his own company in due time, they are already challenging him now. We need a successor as soon as possible; in 18 years he would be 70. Haruno and you are both woman and they wouldn't allow that. If you have a son he can not only inherit the Yukinoshita name and merge our families together."

This is so fucked up. But I have a solution for this. A solution to save everyone. In the cost of me.

"You don't need 18 years to find a successor." I blurred out, silencing them.

"How? Do you and Yukino have a secret son that I don't know about?" She laughed slightly hysterically.

"You have me. Leave our children alone and I will do whatever you ask to take over the company."

Bitch laughs slightly, covering her mouth, I look at her with no sign of this as a joke.

"How? You know nothing. You can write a decent book. That is your maximum capacity as a human being." She retorted. Yukino looking at me in worry. She clenched my hand without saying anything. Because she too knew this was the only solution.

"I don't need to know anything. I will be your puppet; you can control me however you like to do everything in your place. I will just be the face. Better than a wildcard son raised by me that may dissolve the company right?"

My mother in law smirked. Seemingly content with my proposal. Hayama's father looked at me angrily and spat out.

"What about us. What about combining our two families together." He spoke out to me.

"That can wait. Daughter or son, we let them decide. I am not going to force them. So you either agree with my proposal of the two having a natural chance of them joining or none at all because if you don't agree. Yukino and I won't have a second child and I will give Nanae away to my mother's side of the family. After all she is a Hikigaya not a Yukinoshita."

"You little grunt. Don't think so much of yourself. Don't you dare harass me." With that, Hayama's father stood up and left. He didn't say no. So I guess he agreed to my ultimatum. Hayama Hayato quickly followed suit, with Yuigahama bowing to us as thanks and an apology before running off with them. My mother in law looked at me, shook her head and leaned back with a content smirk. In the end, we were all her puppets. Everything probably played out entirely as she wanted. She got the successor she wanted to ensure the family's security and she got a successor she can control also gaining the potential alliance of Hayama and Yukinoshita as the cherry on top. All without lifting a finger. She was the biggest winner today. Everyone one else here including me lost.

"You don't cease to disappoint me Hachiman. Yukino you married a good husband." She smiled. Yukino glared at her, picked up our daughter and walked away. Leaving the two of us.

"So, no need to wear your mask now. You might as well laugh out loud, you won. So gracefully I may add. Hayama's dad doing all the hard talking and pushing the situation to favour your desires the most. You really are evil."

"Oh don't say that Hachiman. I am doing this for my family's own good. I'm also doing it for your good. You won't have to do a thing and live a life of a king. You would earn tenfold what you do now and all you have to do is follow instructions. In fact, let me make it even better for you and Yukino. Since you two would be having a new baby, how about I buy you two a bigger house, even a mansion. It could be your…. welcoming present as the new Ceo of our family company." She smiled and embraced victory.

"Thanks. I won't reject gifts, especially ones that expensive. But let me tell you this. Just to be sure you understand. I'm not doing this because I am afraid of you. I'm doing this because I love Yukino and my children."

"And that's why you'd always only be a pawn to me." She spoke in a piercing cold glare.

"Now run along. Yukino is waiting for you. I will give you three months to sort out everything. So enjoy." She finished. Picking myself up I turned around to the exit. Seeing her smile and sipping her cup of tea with a triumphant smile on her face with the corner of my eye. Meeting up with Yukino outside we silently proceeded back into our car. As we began driving she suddenly busted into tears and started crying. As I was driving I couldn't do anything to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry that you married me. You have a dream and now you won't be able to do it anymore all because of me…I'm so sorry…." She cried. I shake my head and look at her with confidence.

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for our kids. I still want a son with you. And one thing…" I paused took a deep breath and continued….

"I'm not going to be your parent's puppet…in fact…I'm going to burn your family's company to the ground."

I hate that woman.


	11. Chapter 11

If I was to have a chance on turning the current situation in my favour I would need allies. Yukino being the most obvious one. However, the problem with her is that I couldn't have her be my queen. In a game of chess, the queen is the most powerful and overpowered piece. The Madara, the Gilgamesh, the Saitama. Regrettably and sad to say, especially with my role as her husband, she does not fit the criteria. In fact, she may even be weaker than a pawn. She has literally no power in front of her mother; whilst she did confront her years ago, even now, nothing she can do or say would even make a dent on her. Hayama and Yuigahama I cannot trust, especially after the debacle during brunch. Yuigahama didn't warn us at all, catching me entirely off guard. If I am to even try to level the playing field, I need someone to assist me. Thankfully, that someone almost contacted me immediately after we got home after brunch with a text.

Sender: Yukinoshita Haruno (Demon)

"Hey! I couldn't make it to brunch today because mom arranged me to suddenly meet with some clients. This means something interesting must have happened! So let's meet up and tell me all about it! Ah don't bring Yukino chan along so we could have some privacy! Meet you in that coffee shop ground floor of the mall. Ah, order a latte for me. See you in 30!

…..And if you don't turn up I swear I will make life a living hell for you.

Exactly the person I wanted to see. I cannot believe it. I wanted to seek out Yukinoshita Haruno. I couldn't believe the day has finally come. The sun must be coming out the wrong side today. Slipping on my shoes. I shouted aloud, as Yukino was taking care of our daughter in her room.

"I'm going to head out for a bit. You know. After this morning I need to clear my head." I said loudly.

"Say hello to nee san for me." She replies instead, making me almost trip on the step. Caught off guard she saw through everything too. Sheepishly I opened the door and out, taking the stairs for a bit of exercise. The mall was walking distance and I quickly arrived at the designated coffee shop. Finding an empty seat and ordering two coffees I waited. It didn't take long. Not many women would shine like her in the crowd. Her beauty, her body, everything was beyond perfection, if only people knew about the true personality behind that armoured fortified mask, she would be actively avoided as much as I am.

"Yahallo!" she waves at me and jogs forward, playing the typical fake act of a cute and nice woman being late to a date or appointment, it worked. Men around us were looking and blushing seeing her fake cutesy behaviour. Hell, even some woman looked. However, it didn't work on me at all.

"You're late Haruno." I glared at her, instead of making it to the seat in front of me she walked beside me with a huge frown and pout. Then kneeling down and poking me in the cheek.

"You should be glad to be waiting to see a gorgeous woman such as me you know?!"

"I have an even more gorgeous woman at home waiting for me so can you please stop making a scene."

"Awww…Since you married Yukino chan you are so cold to me! I feel like some used play thing. Is that what I am to you?" instantly I feel glares stabbing me in every direction. I could see that her fangs were as sharp as ever, completely dominating me in this situation, making me the bad guy with minimum effort. Standing up and smiling maliciously, I sigh.

"I'm so sorry for offending you, sister in law, now can you please sit down."

"Not yet." Her smile grew even more mischievous.

I sigh again.

"What do you want now…"

"Say the truth. Who is more beautiful? Me or Yukino chan. Think before you answer."

I grunt and hold in my embarrassment. Taking a deep breath.

"You are…" I mumbled silently.

"Pardon? Did you say she is? Speak up."

"You are! Now can we please get to the topic at hand. Its interesting to you okay?"

She laughs seeing the positon she has rendered me in before sitting down opposite me. Looking at the coffee in front that I bought for her she frowned.

"It's cold."

"You are 30 minutes late. No shit its cold."

"Then what should you do about it?"

You mean what you should do about it? I don't know? Order another one? Or hell, with your demon powers breath fire into it and reheat it or something. But since I kinda need you to day, fine…I'll play. I raised my hand for a waitress to come, to order another cup for Haruno san. She then finally smiles.

"That's a good boy. No wonder Yukino chan loves you so much. So what happened today?"

Finally getting into topic. Like an author writing those .5 volumes just to extend his pathetic career, all of what happened above was essentially a waste of time. God damn I hate this woman sometimes… all the time… and by the way…Where the hell is volume 12? At least give me a 11.5 dammit!

"How did you know something happened? Strictly out of curiosity."

Haruno san smiles proudly, placing a finger on top of her cheek and gently pressing down.

"Woman's…intuition I guess? Well. That and the fact that mother chose a day where father and I are both preoccupied for the family brunch. Not much of a family was there I suppose? And I was upstairs looking down at you from the mall. If you didn't want or need to see me and I was late you'd have left…So…yeah."

So you made me sit here for half an hour just to prove a point? You really are a terrible monster of a woman. But I have to admit. It was a smart move. She didn't need to say a thing to test out her theory and worse case in case she was wrong, she'd just have to make an apology for being late.

"So what happened? I assume it's something bad. I mean nothing good comes out of my woman so…story time?" She continued. Is sigh and began relaying the event in detail. As I spoke her cheerful deamnour became increasingly serious and cold by the end of my story, nothing of the typical Haruno san was visible. Before saying anything back to me after I concluded the story she gently bit her lip and rested her hand underneath her chin, supporting her head with her elbow. She pondered silently for what felt like an eternity, especially with her looking like that. Then she sat back took a deep breath and gazed back at me.

"You really kicked yourself in the balls hard. Completely falling for what she wants. She's right. You are just a pawn…" She takes a sip of her newly arrived and hot coffee, which came during the period as she was pondering.

"Yeah. I know. Now how do I get out of this?"

"Asking me for help? Why should I? How will it benefit me? I'm supposed to be the nice daughter, the obedient daughter you know?!"

"I'll give you anything you want."

"What can you offer me? Money? Nope. Sex? I can easily find a guy better looking than you. There is nothing you can offer me to make me your ally." She shakes her head.

"Yeah your right. But there is one thing in my hand that you care about. Yukino. She really wants another baby…so if you don't help me…maybe I'll accidently cum outside or give it to her in the mouth, maybe even up the ass. You know… Accidents. It would be a shame for her to be saddened and distraught like the first time we tried to have a baby." I snare at Haruno. Speaking as crudely as I can to try and spark up anger inside her, after all, anger makes anyone irrational…same as her.

I don't need to play nice to this woman. If anything playing nice would be the worse way to go. Haruno's only weakness is Yukino. And for our future, our children's future I have to use her in my cards. Haruno glared, visibly annoyed, not sure was it my crude language about my intimacy with her beloved sister or that I was willing to hurt Yukino. I personally think the latter stung a bit more.

"You would use Yukino chan? The person I care about the most to recruit me to your crusade? Use your own wife like that? What if I tell her? Then what?"

"Yukino is madly in love with me. She won't believe you. If you say anything it just make her hate you." I shrug.

She's trying to repair their relationship. So this would not be something she would dare do. I expect Haruno san to be extremely angry at me or give me her coldest glare but instead she just laughed hysterically at patted me on the shoulder.

"Oh that was good! Maybe you can go against my mom?! Who knows?! You really are interesting…" She laughed. She then paused at look at me with a serious look. Serious, sincere, but not angry.

"But…don't make threats you won't do. I know how much you care about Yukino chan. Your empty threats mean nothing. If you ever threaten someone, make sure you're willing to pull that trigger. I can see through you….Mother can definitely see through you too."

"Right…" I scratch me head, not knowing what to say. I may have screwed this up.

"Fine…You pulled a good show though. I'm entertained. I guess I'll help. This may be fun to watch in the long run."

YES! I swear I can jump up and cheer all day.

"So? Any plans so far? Other than burn it to the ground? It may sound cool and it might get Yukino chan excited, but it honestly kinda sucks for a plan. Also practically impossible."

Please don't say that about Yukino and especially that way…

"How is it impossible?"

"You really know nothing about business…I guess you really are just a puppet for mom…First of all, the Ceo can't just dissolve the company. It has to go through the board and shareholders. You need at least 51 percent for something to go through. And guess what? We the Yukinoshita family own 65 percent majority shares between the family members and allies. So you have no real power really. I mean think about it. If it had actually any power, mom wouldn't let you take it. You are different from say father, which is ceo and has shares. So yeah…puppet."

Oh….

"So there's nothing I can do?"

"Not exactly. Think. Why is mother so keen on finding a successor? I'm spoon feeding you here Hachiman! I'm not a mother so I'm kinda getting tired of it you know."

Successor…because he's getting old and people are rebelling against him…meaning he not only has supports but also enemies within the board…meaning…'

"He has enemies…which might sway his supporters…making our numbers effectively bigger if I draw them to my side…" I mumble. Haruno smiles and clicked her fingers.

"Exactly. All you have to really do is to gather enough support to kick mom out of the board. She doesn't have 51 percent shares so she can't stop it if you manage to get the support."

"Right. How much does she have? How much does your father and the allies have?"

"She has 20 percent, dad has 25…the largest and the others…you can do the math. Oh by the way… I also have 10."

"And is your 10 in that 65 or out of it?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"If you give me what I want."

"which is?"

"After all of this. I want you to back me as the new Ceo. I think I deserve it? Don't you."

A deal with the devil. But if it means to save Yukino and my babies. It has to be made. I simply nod to Haruno's offer.

"Good. Oh I forgot to mention something. Mom has Yukino chan's 10 percent. So technically she's the biggest holder. Although it is not in her name. So…you better get working on getting that back."

"Right…So right now…I have 10 of the 51 I need…great…"

20 if I can claim Yukino's back….But how can I take her down? I can't just suddenly go ahead and ask for her to be removed.

"Okay, let's assume we got the 51. Then what? Don't we need a genuine reason or excuse to kick her out?"

Haruno threw a thumbs up.

"Yep! You aren't as dumb as you seem! But don't worry, leave that to me!"

I guess belittling me runs inside deep in the family's blood. I guess Haruno san also had a huge beef with her mother. I can guess and probably be close, but I do not want to probe into her privacy.

"You also know this isn't going to take one year or even two right? Business relationships build upon decades aren't that easy to break. Neither is trust that easy to build upon."

"Don't worry. I have 18 years."

Assuming we get pregnant this year 18 years is what we have until she is gonna try and force him or her into a marriage with Hayama's. That or being a puppet. I cannot let either of that happen.

"I guess we are in this coup for the long run huh…I don't want to wait 18 years though…" Haruno san mumbled.

"Don't worry. I want to end this ASAP too." For peace in my family.

"Well then. Cheers. Here to a new age. " She lifted her cup.

Picking up mine up I gently bumped our cups together.

"Cheers."


	12. Chapter 12

Neither Yukino or I had ever had a so called "proper job." She works part time for her company and is mostly a housewife or home maker. Meanwhile on my end I have never gotten a 5-9. Sure I worked part time jobs during university. But a real job? No. Sure I get paid more than average. But I have never had a proper salary man job. I haven't even woken up this early since high school. Reaching to my phone on the bed end I clicked tapped the screen to cancel out the alarm, making sure it doesn't wake Yukino. Although the three months Kurona Yukinoshita…bitch gave me wasn't over. Today was the day that Jiro, her husband had planned for me to be introduced to the board and the company. For the mission that Haruno san and I want to accomplish. I guess I have to drag myself out of bed even though it is 6 am.

But here came problem two. The awkward position that we are in. She's snuggling close with her arms around me in some sort of death grip. Trying desperately to carefully disarm of grip resulted in no success. In fact, it woke her up. Instead of shouting or belittling me she woke up with a faint blush and resituated her body on top of mine. Then sliding herself along the length of my body, making me grunt. Any other day and this sort of behaviour would result in three hours of suck, squeeze, bang and blow…not in that particular order. But today I can't. Placing my arms on her shoulders and stiffening it, I stop her erotic movements.

"You don't want me?" She pouted and complained. I sigh. My body doesn't want to say no and we both know that it is evident. But my mind has to say yes.

"Not this morning. Your dad has a car here at 7 and I needa get ready."

"Just text him…saying we are busy trying to make him a grandchild…" She pecked me in the cheek and proceeded working down toward my neck. What the hell do you do to a woman when they are in heat? Spray water on their face like dogs? And what a shame. The rare day she acts like this and I have to decline her.

"No… today…its important. For our plan to come to fruition. It's for the kids."

She pouted and rolled away, clearly disappointed.

"Kids. Plural, that assumes we have more than one Hachiman." She complained.

"Oh come on. I have to leave it 55 minutes. And it takes me at least 10 minutes to shower and 10 more for changing, not to mention breakfast."

"Just eat in the company canteen. Give me 10 minutes. It is all I need to make you happy…."

Releasing a breath to signal me giving up on arguing, I simple let her take the lead. Afterward to save time, we took a shower together, but that was mainly an excuse on my end. After everything I now put on my shoes, about to proceed down and wait for the provided driver. Until I felt something pull on my sleeve. Turning around I look at her.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing…It's just that…somehow…I feel sad and I don't want you to go."

"I go to meetings about my books sometimes though."

"That's different. Today…today is the beginning. Soon you would have to go every day and leave me here alone. Part of me doesn't want that."

I place my hand on top of her head and gently stroked her soft still slightly moist hair.

"Silly girl. Once I get rid of your moms control and terror tactics over us. I'll be with you every day again. And hey, we got a nice big house out of it, so it's not all bad."

Yeah she's dangerous. Even though she couldn't legally any force anything. I am sure she will think of a way to manipulate something or someone so it falls into an outcome that she desires. And I don't want to have our children to be basically livestock for her to find chances to manipulate for her advantage.

"Hmm…I'm just scared. I don't want her to be able to influence you. To get in your head…"

"I'm stronger than I look…at least mentally." I chuckle, Yukino smiles in turn of my comment and tip toes, making her tall enough to wrap her arms around my neck and kiss me on the lips.

"Good luck. Since I know you won't have a nice day. I won't." She smiles.

"I'll see you later. I should be home by six. Unless your dad insists I have dinner with the board of whatever."

She nods and turns away, a sudden urge I felt made be grab her and pull her toward me from behind and I hugged her. I felt very embarrassed as I did it and remained silent. Then removing my embrace after a few seconds. I turn toward the door. Only for her to raise her hand to her chest and gently wave.

"See you later." She smiled. I nod and open the door and proceeded down. Already feeling irritated about the suit I am wearing. As I opened the lobby door a black limousine was there waiting in idle. Walking toward it and opening the door. I was greeted by my father in law and Haruno san.

"Morning Hachiman!" Haruno san spoke up with a massive smile.

"Ah. Yeah…" I answered, still drowsy and tired.

"You look tired my boy." My father in law spoke up and handed me a cup. Hot and it smelled great. It must be some really nice coffee.

"Thank you." I answered and I received the cup. The car began to slowly move and I was surprised by its ride. It felt like nothing like I have ridden before, it was so comfortable and light, I felt like I was on the train...just nicer.

"By the way Hachiman, today is nothing tough. Basically I will take you through a walk around of every department of the company and then we'd meet the board. That's it really for today."

"You make it sound like a school field trip." I retorted to Haruno, making my father in law chuckle.

"You two are always snapping at each other. I wonder if you are like this with Yukino. Arguments aren't good for marriages."

Well, being overly obedient to your wife to the point where she is almost in total control aren't staples of a good marriage either. But I couldn't say that to his face.

"We don't bicker that often." I replied instead.

"Yeah dad, those two are totally in love. I bet they were baby making this morning too! Hence why he's so tired!"

"You…"

"You're not denying it!" She laughed.  
Haruno you bitch, you have to bring some shit like this up to my in laws.

"Well they are young! But Haruno, don't say something like that when your mothers around. She doesn't like it."

"That's why I am saying it here father."

Cheeky. Now can we please stop talking about our sex life?!

"Anyway…"I cough to get attention.

"What's the schedule today. I don't assume we would be walking around the entire place." I continued. Haruno san nodded.

"Yeah. Our company as you know, mainly concentrates in construction. We would be visiting the departments most relevant to your job title as president. So HR, BI, BD, Logistics, Finance, Interior, pre-con, and Operations."

I basically got none of that. What is up with the acronyms.

"Ah…"

Haruno san chuckled, probably amused that she knows that I was completely lost.

"Then after that we will introduce you to the board in a buffet style dinner."

"Dinner? What time does it end?" I more or less promised to be home asap.

"Uhm. Usually dinner leads to drinks. So maybe 11 earliest 1am latest?" Haruno responded with a finger on her cheek.

"What!" I accidently spurt out, damn near spitting my coffee into my father in laws face. Not to mention his ridiculously expensive suit that is worth more than my life.

"Oh. You must be missing Yukino. Did you promise to spend time with her? I could rearrange the event or you could leave earlier. It's no big deal my boy." He responded with a warm smile. While I know that he doesn't mind, doing so will not do me any good or favours in the long run. So I really have no choice but to run by it.

"No… its fine. I'll call her later." I sigh. So this is the life of a corporate slave. Even if you want, you can't say no.

"If you are worried I could get Hayato to visit her. Although I am sure Yukino chan will be fine." Haruno smirked and I point my gaze at her.

"No. Please don't." I mutter. The ride didn't take too long. By the end of the ride the coffee was still warm if that means anything. Finishing it off I proceeded inside with the two Yukinoshita's.

"Hachiman my boy, I will be leaving now for a meeting. Haruno will be your guide for the day as she is vice president. You two will need to register in HR first and they will give you an access card as well as a network access key, so you can access our company's servers etc because it is encrypted. It is imperative that you do not lose this key. As all of our information is there."

I feel like a three-year-old….

"No problem."

"Good. I'll see you two at the dinner at 5:30 then." He smiles and walks away into his I presume private lift.

"Let's go then!" Haruno says excitedly. As she was the boss's daughter everyone was looking at me as we proceeded toward the human resources department. It didn't take long for me to get everything cleared. After all no one wants to make the boss's daughter wait. With everything cleared we begun the long day. Going department after department and talking to many people I have to admit I learned a lot and some of it was even interesting. As the clock hit 1 Haruno and I hit the employee canteen. However, something was curious, people were staring.

"Do I really look that shady?" I muttered.

"A bit. But the main reason is because you are here."

"Huh?"

"You are probably the first ceo to be sitting and eating lunch with the commoner employees. Dad never did, the board never does. What you are doing is...kinda gathering moral with the troops per say. That you are one of them and not above them."

"You planned this?" I chuckle. Secretly impressed at how devious Haruno san is.

"Doing this is better than talking to a hundred people. Perhaps the foods not bad…for you."

What are you on about?! This don is pretty great! Oh wait, its pedestrian food. People like you won't possibly eat something like this.

"You are just posh." I mumble, slightly embarrassed.

"But you're not. So maybe you would be loved here."

"I've never been loved in my life." I shrug.

"Oh. Even Yukino chan?"

"Except her."

"Komachi chan?!"

"Okay Point taken…"

"Gahama chan?" Her aura noticeably changed to something cold and she looked at me.

"Of course not." I retorted back.

"You two do seem awfully close. Especially after what she did in that brunch, if it was anyone else you'd have destroyed her."

"She's my friend."

"Friends don't do something like that. Now if I find out any funny business between you two..."

"You won't." I cut her off.

"Good. Now hurry up. We don't have much time left." She quickly reverts back to her typical fake bubbly self. But she does have a point. Sure. I care about Yuigahama Yui. But did I act too lenient? She did essentially assist in trapping me in this. The day went on as scheduled until Haruno san and I proceeded to the top floor for the dinner. Essentially a meet and greet for me and the rest of the board. Upon them gazing me for the first sight. I know they weren't impressed at all. Hell, if I was them I won't be impressed by seeing me. But what I have to charm them is this…I read their profiles, learned about them like a stalker using the information Haruno san provided me weeks ago. Good enough for me to build a fortified mask like hers, to pretend, the act social able. To be a fake.

"Uh…" And I'm failing already. Struggling to even introduce myself.

"It's just that it's kinda intimidating being in front all you business legends…" I bsed to try and recompose myself. This is hard…how does Haruno san do it. I mean sure, she has years of practice while I just didn't care what people thought of me, but in this world, to survive, you have to be somewhat fake.

My quickly fired comments gathered a few laughs and it seemed successful. I could see in the crowd, my bitch of a mother in law staring at me, essentially giving me the message from her gaze alone that I should not even dare to screw this up. Luckily for me, to take her down I won't let myself screw up.

"My name is Hikigaya Hachiman…Uhm, I'm who Jiro san asked to be the new ceo…so I am looking forward to uh…working with you all in the future." I smile and bow. One man in the crowd wasn't convinced.

"So you just elected your son in law? Doesn't he have no experience in business at all? I mean he writes books, with great sales sure… but still." One old man muttered. What's his name again?

"Well. That is true I have had no actual experience, I will do my very best to learn from you all and try to be of service. Also…Madou san…every project you voted against were all successful, so infact I am kinda glad you don't approve of me." I try to joke and ease the tension. Haruno san was laughing at my awkward face while the rest of the board smiled and laughed at my joke. I take a breath of relief. I could see my father in law nodding and smiling in affirmation while my mother in law was not convinced at all. After shaking and chatting to everyone I see my mother in law directing me to go to her with a tilt to her head. We walked toward the other side, where there was no one, essentially allowing her to pounce.

"Not bad for an introductory speech. I do hope that there are no hard feelings between us, I only forced you into this for the greater good of the family."

"Family huh?" I chuckle.

"Is using your own grandchildren as a weapon, how family treats each other?" I retort her.

"Do you honestly think I would force my grandchildren and future grandchildren into an arranged marriage? Even I don't have enough power to do that. But here's the beauty of it. You care about them so much, you wouldn't even risk it, even if there was just a one percent chance. You took it as an absolute certainty. What I like about you is that you see everyone and everything as bad and horrid as possible and is always on alert. While this is a strength, it is too a weakness. infact one i easily exploited."

"So all of this. Was just a bluff to get me to be your pawn. Because you know asking wouldn't work."

"No. I do want to combine Hayama's firm and our company through Yukino. However, that fell through because of you. But…I guess you could call it a bluff, although you didn't call it. Someone so emotionally driven and logical would definitely think I would do those things...after all you are a man of contradiction...Actually it does seem believable that I would do something so evil and cruel." She muttered the last couple of words silently. As if she was saddened by the fact that people saw her this way and she too admits it, a moment of vulnerability.

"Then why are you telling me this now. Yes, I signed a contract but even if I do revoke it, all I have to do is pay a fee which I can afford." I can afford although it would be a significant burn in my accounts.

She chuckles.

"You can. But I bought the publisher that you use to publish your books as an investment. So do you honestly believe you could be an author again?" She laughs slightly entertained.

"I could find another one."

"Which I will catch wind of and then I will sell the one I own and buy the one you are trying to use. It's an endless cycle which you cannot win. Thankfully publishers are small and cheap, so there's really no way for you out of this." She smiles at me.

"You really do think of everything…"I sigh.

"I'm not trying to control you. I need you, our company, Yukino, we all need you. But I have to set precautions to prevent you…from rebelling. Perhaps it's not like you are given a bad job. You earn tens of millions and you take instructions from me and Jiro for fundamental plans of the company. Meanwhile Jiro could focus on his diet position. Who knows, maybe when he retires you can have that position too."

"Puppet. Just say it." I grit my teeth.

"No, you're not. Look, I want to have a proper relationship with you. I don't want my daughters husband to hate me nor do I want to hate you. We are a family and we need to take compromises for each other."

"You don't care if I hate you or not. You care if Yukino does or if my children do. I have no Yukinoshita blood through my veins, I'm as disposable as that Kimono you are wearing."

"You don't have to be that specific my dear. But you are no puppet. Even if Jiro and I do tell you to bring something up to the board, they could veto it. You are just an…middle man."

"A board you control."

"Is that so? Happy coincidences I guess." She smiles and places a hand on my shoulder, I shrug it off immediately.

"Look Hachiman. Enjoy these 2 and a bit months' you have left as an... househusband. Come back refreshed. Many would kill to have your position. Think of the positive side. I'll see you soon."

With a small fake smile. She walked away. Even though before I was slightly hesitant to bully an old lady out of her own company, this conversation alone solidifies my conviction and commitment. I could see from a distance Haruno san smiling and nodding at me, then raising up a glass. I nod back. I'm done losing and being manipulated by this woman.

* * *

By the time I got home it was 12am. The first reaction I felt as I opened the door and looked at the dining table was one of guilt. Yukino was sitting on her typical spot with a table full of my favourite foods. Everything covered up with translucent lids. I completely forgot to tell her that I wasn't going home for dinner…she must have cooked everything I liked because she knew today was going to be hell for me.

"Yo…" I muttered.

"Is this going to be the norm now? Are you never going to answer calls or be home for dinner? Are you going to end up the same as father did when I was a child?"

I pull my phone out of my pocket. I left it on silent without vibration. There were tens of calls and texts I missed.

"I totally forgot. I'm really sorry…and no…I want to be home. It's just that the situation today. Never mind…"

"Did you eat then? Because all I can smell from your body is the stench of alcohol."

Yeah…I was forced to go to drink with all those old geezers. Thank god they were all old and lightweights. Otherwise I won't be home yet.

"Yeah I ate. I am sorry you know?"

"Whatever. Go wash off that stench. I'll put everything in the fridge."

"Right." Even though she was glaring at me, I could tell from her eyes and the shape of her mouth that she was also extremely saddened. Maybe something of her childhood was projected onto my behaviour tonight, but it cannot be blamed. After all, she was stuck here alone even though our daughter was here, she had no one really to talk to…

After taking a shower and changing into sleeping attire I laid down in bed. Yukino was already tucked in, more or less and completely ignored my existence, clearly still angered or at least annoyed. Switching off the remaining lights I placed an arm loosely around her waist and laid, closer than usual. After all, I did miss her too.

"Stop being mad okay? I promise I won't do this again…probably."

"If you can't even commit to a promise. Don't bother."

"It's not that…I don't wanna lie to you. So I can promise you concretely."

"You know…when I was a child. Father was my only defence against mother. He protected me and let me be. But as I grew up, he was never there anymore…" She rolled around, facing me with a pained face. She reached her hand up and gently cupped my cheek.

"Am I being stupid or illogical for worrying that would be the same?"

"You know I don't want any of this. Your mom…let just say we fell into her trap."

"That's not the point…" She mumbled.

"I know…Look, I'll try my best to maintain my role as a husband and a father. Perhaps, with me gone all the time, I'd have to fret about you cheating on me…so the pains both ways." I try to joke and ease her. But the reaction was mute at best.

"You know I wouldn't do that…"

"Yeah I know. It was a crap attempt to kind ease things." I raise my hand to stroke her hair.

"Hachiman…."

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we should have a second child anymore…" She speaks up. It was slightly shocking because we have been working hard to try to accomplish it and the sudden change of heart caught me completely off guard.

"Why?!" Was all I could say.

"With you busy now and away from home most of the day…I simply cannot carry another child. We have a baby to take care of already. With you away I simply cannot handle it…I'm sorry. Maybe we should wait a year or two? At least until Nanae could somewhat take care of herself."

"Right…"

"I am sorry. But I think it's the best option based on the current situation of things. Assuming I do get pregnant in the next few weeks or 2 months. Then what? You would be at work all day and I simply cannot handle taking care of Nanae and carry a child at the same time whilst being a home maker."

"No, No. I get it. Don't worry." If I was to say I wasn't disappointed, I would be lying, but if this is her choice and decision. I should respect it.

"Anyways…goodnight…" Those were the last words she spoke tonight. Closing her eyes, she relaxed and quickly fell asleep, probably due to the labour of making a dinner that I completely wasted. Although I do wonder, how did my face look when she told me her decision…and did that face upset her? But it was too late to ask or say anything now.


End file.
